Quick Takeaways

• Scripture never mentions or endorses conversion therapy, which was invented in the 20th century.

• Jesus' greatest commandment was to love God and love your neighbor. Practices that divide families contradict this core teaching.

• Christian parents who pursued change efforts for their children describe the results as "the opposite of the fruits of the Spirit": division, despair, and destruction.

• Faithful Christians have found ways to love both God and their children without resorting to harmful change efforts.

When your child comes to you with questions about who they are or who they're attracted to, it's natural to turn to your faith for guidance. But does the Bible actually say anything about conversion therapy?

The short answer is no. Scripture never mentions conversion therapy, which didn't exist until the 20th century. What scripture does offer is guidance about love, family, and how we treat those entrusted to our care.

What Scripture Actually Says About Love

When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus didn't hesitate. He said to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. This wasn't a suggestion or a secondary consideration. It was the foundation of everything.

Linda Robertson, whose son Ryan died after years of participating in change efforts, now speaks to Christian families about what she learned through her heartbreaking journey: "I am so full of joy that the people in my life are coming to know God's love as I do, so truly unconditional. They are following Christ's commands: to Love God and to Love our neighbors as ourselves."

She describes families who embrace their children experiencing "abundant fruit," quite the opposite of the shame and self-loathing that comes from teaching children God rejects who they are.

The Fruit of the Spirit vs. The Fruit of "Conversion Therapy"

Scripture tells us we will know things by their fruit. Galatians 5 describes the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are the markers of work that come from God.

Paulette Trimmer, a Pentecostal Christian mother from Virginia, put her son Adam through multiple expensive programs after he came out as gay. Today, she reflects on what those programs actually produced: "It killed it," she says of her relationship with Adam. "It all but killed it. He didn't want to have anything to do with me."

The programs didn't just fail to change Adam. They actively taught him to blame and resent his parents, producing division, despair, and destruction, the very opposite of the fruits of the Spirit. And when the first program didn't work, the solution offered was another, even more expensive program. The implicit message was always that the failure wasn't the therapy; it was Adam not trying hard enough.

Paulette's faith remains strong today. She still goes to church. "I love God, I am not going to change that," she says firmly. "And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."

That's not compromise. That's faith strong enough to recognize that when someone asks you to choose between loving God and loving your child, they're asking you to deny that God is love.

What Faithful Christian Parents Actually Do

Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, and the son of a Methodist minister, spent years trying to force his child to conform to expectations. He didn't let his daughter wear girl clothes. He made her play on boys' sports teams. He did it, he says, to protect her from teasing, and if he's being honest, to protect himself from inevitable questions.

"My child was miserable," he recalls. "No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."

The turning point came when his daughter asked if she could play with neighbors if she went inside and changed into boy clothes first. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else," Brandon says. "As a parent, the one thing we cannot do, the one thing, is silence our child's spirit."

When Brandon and his wife stopped trying to change their daughter, the transformation was immediate. "I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter. She has friendships. She's a kid."

Brandon's faith led him away from conversion therapy, not toward it. "The God I believe in does not make mistakes," he says with conviction.

Finding Faithful Support

For Christian parents seeking help, there are alternatives that respect both your faith and your family. The Family Acceptance Project offers resources designed specifically for faith-focused families that help parents support their children while protecting against depression and suicidal thoughts.

Pastoral counselors trained in family-first approaches can help you explore your concerns without promising to change something about your child that can't be changed. Legitimate therapy focuses on strengthening your relationship with your child, not wedging a stranger into that sacred bond.

As Susan Cottrell advises parents struggling with these questions: "Let God be God. Fear is not from God."

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Does the Bible support conversion therapy?

A: No. The Bible never mentions conversion therapy, which was invented in the 20th century. Scripture emphasizes loving God and loving your neighbor, keeping families united, and recognizing things by their fruit. Many Christian parents who pursued change efforts describe the results as the opposite of the fruits of the Spirit: division and broken relationships rather than love and peace.

Q: Can I be faithful to God and still love my child who is gay or sees themselves differently?

A: Absolutely. Many Christian parents have found that loving both God and their children doesn't require choosing between them. Paulette Trimmer, a Pentecostal Christian mother, puts it simply: "I love God, I am not going to change that. I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."

Q: What are Christian alternatives to conversion therapy?

A: The Family Acceptance Project offers evidence-based resources for religious families. Pastoral counselors trained in family-first approaches can help navigate concerns while prioritizing your relationship with your child. Organizations like FreedHearts and Fortunate Families provide community and guidance for Christian parents.

Q: How do I know if a counselor is offering legitimate therapy or conversion therapy?

A: Real therapy focuses on helping your child navigate challenges and strengthening family relationships. Conversion therapy promises to change something about your child that no ethical therapist would promise. Any practitioner willing to attempt change efforts is acting outside professional standards.