Quick Takeaways

• Christian parents across the country are discovering they can honor their faith and protect their children without conversion therapy

• Parents like Brandon Boulware and Paulette Trimmer share how rejecting "change" approaches restored their families

• Conversion therapy programs often taught children to blame their parents, fracturing family bonds

• Faith-based support resources help families stay connected without demanding a child change who they are

• You can love God and love your child; anyone telling you otherwise may be profiting from your fear

When Christian parents hear phrases like "gender theory" or learn their child is questioning their identity, the instinct to protect runs deep. Many wonder: Do I have to choose between my faith and my child? Do I need to find someone who can "fix" this?

Parents who have walked this road say the answer is no. Their stories reveal a different path forward, one that keeps families together and faith intact.

Brandon Boulware: "I Had a Child Who Did Not Smile"

Brandon Boulware is a Christian, a business lawyer, and the son of a Methodist minister. When his daughter was young, Brandon did what many well-meaning parents do: he tried to make her fit expectations.

"I forced my daughter to wear boy clothes and get short haircuts," Brandon testified before Missouri lawmakers. "My child was miserable. I cannot overstate that. No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."

For years, Brandon pushed against who his daughter was. Then came a moment that changed everything. His daughter asked if she could play with neighbors, but only after changing into boy clothes.

"My daughter was equating being good with being someone else," Brandon realized. "I was teaching her to deny who she is."

The moment Brandon and his wife stopped silencing their daughter's spirit, the transformation was immediate. "I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter," he shared. "The God I believe in does not make mistakes."

Brandon's journey mirrors what many Christian parents of a gay or transgender child discover: their job is not to fix their children but to love them.

Paulette Trimmer: "We Got Our Son Back"

Paulette Trimmer, a Pentecostal Christian, sent her son Adam to multiple conversion therapy programs after he came out as gay. Each program cost more money and promised lasting change. Each one drove Adam further away.

"It killed our relationship," Paulette recalls. "He didn't want to have anything to do with me." The programs taught Adam that his parents' failings caused his same-sex attraction. Instead of healing, they learned resentment.

After two programs, Adam begged to attend a third, one later depicted in the film "Boy Erased" for its abusive practices. Paulette finally said no.

"That place is where I wanted to go," Adam told her years later. "Thank you for not letting me go there."

Today, Paulette remains a faithful Pentecostal Christian. She attends church and believes in God. She also loves and accepts her gay son.

"I love God, I am not going to change that," Paulette says firmly. "And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that." Both statements can be true.

Linda Robertson and Joyce Calvo: The Stakes Are Real

Not every family gets their child back. Linda Robertson lost her son Ryan to drugs in 2009 after years of conversion therapy left him unable to cope with the pain. Joyce Calvo's daughter, Alana, a devout young woman, died by suicide in 2019 after pursuing conversion therapy in Colorado.

Both mothers now speak publicly, urging other parents to learn from their heartbreak. Their message: the harm is real, and the stakes are higher than any "therapy" promises.

What These Families Learned

Parents who rejected conversion therapy share common insights.

Conversion therapy fractures families. Programs often blame parents for a child's orientation or identity, teaching children to resent the very people who love them most. A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.

Change-focused approaches do not deliver. Courts have ruled conversion therapy fraudulent. There is no credible evidence that these practices work, and substantial evidence that they cause lasting harm.

Faith does not require changing your child. Paulette still attends church. Brandon still believes. Linda Robertson started a support group for young Christians at her church. Keeping your faith and keeping your child are not opposites.

A Faithful Future

Faith-based support resources exist that focus on strengthening family bonds rather than demanding a child become someone else. Organizations like FreedHearts and Fortunate Families offer guidance grounded in scripture and research, helping parents navigate this season with both faith and love.

These resources understand that Christian parents are not bad parents. They are scared parents. The difference is whether that fear leads toward connection or division.

As Brandon Boulware put it: "The one thing we cannot do, the one thing, is silence our child's spirit."

Your child needs you. And you do not have to choose between your faith and your family.

FAQs

Can I stay faithful to my beliefs and still accept my gay or transgender child? 

Yes. Parents like Paulette Trimmer remain active in their churches while fully accepting their children. Loving your child as God made them does not require abandoning your faith.

What do Christian parents who tried conversion therapy say about it? 

Parents consistently report regret. Programs promised healing but delivered division, teaching children to blame their parents and damaging family relationships.

How did these families restore their relationships? 

By stopping efforts to change their children and starting to accept them. Brandon Boulware saw an immediate transformation when he let his daughter be herself. The Trimmers rebuilt their bond over years of honest communication.

Are there faith-based resources that do not try to change my child? 

Yes. Organizations like FreedHearts and Fortunate Families offer support rooted in both faith and research, helping families stay connected without demanding change.

What is the biggest lesson these parents want to share? 

You do not have to choose between God and your child. Anyone telling you otherwise may be selling something that will harm your family, not heal it.