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Parent Resources for Trans Children, Tried and Tested by Christian Parents
What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
The parent resources Christian families vouch for are the ones that kept them close to their child: other parents who have been there, a guide for the first hard conversation, research on family support, and a safe home and school. Parents like Kimberly Shappley and Brandon Boulware tried pressure first and watched their children suffer. What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
Quick Takeaways
The resources Christian parents stand behind all keep the family together.
The three parents profiled below tried pressure first and saw what it did to their child.
Research agrees: serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them.
You decide what support looks like in your home. That is a parent's role, not a clinic's.
What These Parents Tried First
Linda Robertson looked for guidance within her faith community when her son Ryan told her he was gay. Following the advice of "conversion therapy" proponents, she pulled back from him emotionally. Ryan spent six years memorizing Scripture, attending youth groups, and begging God to change him. He turned to drugs to cope and died at 18. Today Linda warns other parents that the same approach now goes by softer names. "Christian parents like me aren't bad parents," she says. "They're scared parents."
Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister and school nurse in Texas, used what she later told Congress was "a home-remedy version of conversion therapy" on her young daughter, Kai. Then she overheard Kai, barely four, praying for God to take her home to heaven. Kimberly changed course.
Brandon Boulware, a Missouri attorney and a Methodist minister's son, spent years pressing his daughter to fit the way she was born. "I had a child who did not smile," he has said. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else."
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
Resources That Passed the Test
Other parents in the same seat. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a St. Louis nun with more than 50 years under vows, learned about unconditional love at TransParent support meetings in a way she "never learned in the convent." She now hosts dinners for Catholic parents of transgender kids, with no prayers that children become someone else, just meals, faith, and stories. Here is how to start building a support network in your church.
A guide for the first conversation. CT4F's parent-to-child script draws on Christian families' experiences, covering what to say, what to avoid, and how to repair a talk that goes badly.
A safe school and a steady home. To get Kai away from a hostile school, Kimberly moved her family out of the region she had known for 25 years. At home, Kai began trying to live as she feels she is meant to, through clothing and pronouns. Brandon and his wife stopped the pressure together. "I now have a confident, a smiling, a happy daughter," he says.
The research on family support. A Family Acceptance Project study found serious depression rose from 16 percent to 33 percent among young adults whose parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. A 2020 study of nearly 28,000 transgender adults found those pushed to change had more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt, a clear link between these practices and suicide risk.
Can You Stay Faithful and Support Your Child?
Yes. Kimberly now works as a faith outreach coordinator, speaking often in the conservative spaces she came from. Choosing to stand by her child did not end her faith.
Families, not clinics, know what is best for their children. If you are at the beginning, CT4F's first steps for Christian families are a gentle place to start, and it helps to know the real risks and harms of the alternative.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the best parent resources for trans children in Christian families?
Peer support groups for parents, church communities willing to sit at the table, conversation guides like CT4F's parent-to-child script, and Family Acceptance Project research on how family support protects kids.
Can I be faithful to my religion and support my trans child?
Yes. Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister, kept her faith while standing by her daughter. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a Catholic nun, now gathers parents doing the same.
Is "exploratory therapy" a safe alternative?
Be careful. Linda Robertson warns that "conversion therapy" has been rebranded as "exploratory therapy," "therapy first," and "values-aligned counseling." Ask any provider whether the goal is to change how your child sees themselves.
What does research say about family support for transgender kids?
Family Acceptance Project research found serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them. A 2020 JAMA Psychiatry study of transgender adults linked change efforts to more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt.
What should I do if my child is in crisis?
Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available any hour of the day. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911.
Sources and Further Reading
Research on Family Support and Harm
Crisis Support
Real Stories From Christian Parents
CT4F Resources for Families
Recent posts
Parent Resources for Trans Children, Tried and Tested by Christian Parents
What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
The parent resources Christian families vouch for are the ones that kept them close to their child: other parents who have been there, a guide for the first hard conversation, research on family support, and a safe home and school. Parents like Kimberly Shappley and Brandon Boulware tried pressure first and watched their children suffer. What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
Quick Takeaways
The resources Christian parents stand behind all keep the family together.
The three parents profiled below tried pressure first and saw what it did to their child.
Research agrees: serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them.
You decide what support looks like in your home. That is a parent's role, not a clinic's.
What These Parents Tried First
Linda Robertson looked for guidance within her faith community when her son Ryan told her he was gay. Following the advice of "conversion therapy" proponents, she pulled back from him emotionally. Ryan spent six years memorizing Scripture, attending youth groups, and begging God to change him. He turned to drugs to cope and died at 18. Today Linda warns other parents that the same approach now goes by softer names. "Christian parents like me aren't bad parents," she says. "They're scared parents."
Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister and school nurse in Texas, used what she later told Congress was "a home-remedy version of conversion therapy" on her young daughter, Kai. Then she overheard Kai, barely four, praying for God to take her home to heaven. Kimberly changed course.
Brandon Boulware, a Missouri attorney and a Methodist minister's son, spent years pressing his daughter to fit the way she was born. "I had a child who did not smile," he has said. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else."
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
Resources That Passed the Test
Other parents in the same seat. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a St. Louis nun with more than 50 years under vows, learned about unconditional love at TransParent support meetings in a way she "never learned in the convent." She now hosts dinners for Catholic parents of transgender kids, with no prayers that children become someone else, just meals, faith, and stories. Here is how to start building a support network in your church.
A guide for the first conversation. CT4F's parent-to-child script draws on Christian families' experiences, covering what to say, what to avoid, and how to repair a talk that goes badly.
A safe school and a steady home. To get Kai away from a hostile school, Kimberly moved her family out of the region she had known for 25 years. At home, Kai began trying to live as she feels she is meant to, through clothing and pronouns. Brandon and his wife stopped the pressure together. "I now have a confident, a smiling, a happy daughter," he says.
The research on family support. A Family Acceptance Project study found serious depression rose from 16 percent to 33 percent among young adults whose parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. A 2020 study of nearly 28,000 transgender adults found those pushed to change had more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt, a clear link between these practices and suicide risk.
Can You Stay Faithful and Support Your Child?
Yes. Kimberly now works as a faith outreach coordinator, speaking often in the conservative spaces she came from. Choosing to stand by her child did not end her faith.
Families, not clinics, know what is best for their children. If you are at the beginning, CT4F's first steps for Christian families are a gentle place to start, and it helps to know the real risks and harms of the alternative.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the best parent resources for trans children in Christian families?
Peer support groups for parents, church communities willing to sit at the table, conversation guides like CT4F's parent-to-child script, and Family Acceptance Project research on how family support protects kids.
Can I be faithful to my religion and support my trans child?
Yes. Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister, kept her faith while standing by her daughter. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a Catholic nun, now gathers parents doing the same.
Is "exploratory therapy" a safe alternative?
Be careful. Linda Robertson warns that "conversion therapy" has been rebranded as "exploratory therapy," "therapy first," and "values-aligned counseling." Ask any provider whether the goal is to change how your child sees themselves.
What does research say about family support for transgender kids?
Family Acceptance Project research found serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them. A 2020 JAMA Psychiatry study of transgender adults linked change efforts to more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt.
What should I do if my child is in crisis?
Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available any hour of the day. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911.
Sources and Further Reading
Research on Family Support and Harm
Crisis Support
Real Stories From Christian Parents
CT4F Resources for Families
Recent posts
Parent Resources for Trans Children, Tried and Tested by Christian Parents
What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
The parent resources Christian families vouch for are the ones that kept them close to their child: other parents who have been there, a guide for the first hard conversation, research on family support, and a safe home and school. Parents like Kimberly Shappley and Brandon Boulware tried pressure first and watched their children suffer. What worked was listening. The one approach that failed every family below was conversion therapy, whatever name it went by.
Quick Takeaways
The resources Christian parents stand behind all keep the family together.
The three parents profiled below tried pressure first and saw what it did to their child.
Research agrees: serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them.
You decide what support looks like in your home. That is a parent's role, not a clinic's.
What These Parents Tried First
Linda Robertson looked for guidance within her faith community when her son Ryan told her he was gay. Following the advice of "conversion therapy" proponents, she pulled back from him emotionally. Ryan spent six years memorizing Scripture, attending youth groups, and begging God to change him. He turned to drugs to cope and died at 18. Today Linda warns other parents that the same approach now goes by softer names. "Christian parents like me aren't bad parents," she says. "They're scared parents."
Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister and school nurse in Texas, used what she later told Congress was "a home-remedy version of conversion therapy" on her young daughter, Kai. Then she overheard Kai, barely four, praying for God to take her home to heaven. Kimberly changed course.
Brandon Boulware, a Missouri attorney and a Methodist minister's son, spent years pressing his daughter to fit the way she was born. "I had a child who did not smile," he has said. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else."
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
Resources That Passed the Test
Other parents in the same seat. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a St. Louis nun with more than 50 years under vows, learned about unconditional love at TransParent support meetings in a way she "never learned in the convent." She now hosts dinners for Catholic parents of transgender kids, with no prayers that children become someone else, just meals, faith, and stories. Here is how to start building a support network in your church.
A guide for the first conversation. CT4F's parent-to-child script draws on Christian families' experiences, covering what to say, what to avoid, and how to repair a talk that goes badly.
A safe school and a steady home. To get Kai away from a hostile school, Kimberly moved her family out of the region she had known for 25 years. At home, Kai began trying to live as she feels she is meant to, through clothing and pronouns. Brandon and his wife stopped the pressure together. "I now have a confident, a smiling, a happy daughter," he says.
The research on family support. A Family Acceptance Project study found serious depression rose from 16 percent to 33 percent among young adults whose parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. A 2020 study of nearly 28,000 transgender adults found those pushed to change had more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt, a clear link between these practices and suicide risk.
Can You Stay Faithful and Support Your Child?
Yes. Kimberly now works as a faith outreach coordinator, speaking often in the conservative spaces she came from. Choosing to stand by her child did not end her faith.
Families, not clinics, know what is best for their children. If you are at the beginning, CT4F's first steps for Christian families are a gentle place to start, and it helps to know the real risks and harms of the alternative.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the best parent resources for trans children in Christian families?
Peer support groups for parents, church communities willing to sit at the table, conversation guides like CT4F's parent-to-child script, and Family Acceptance Project research on how family support protects kids.
Can I be faithful to my religion and support my trans child?
Yes. Kimberly Shappley, an ordained evangelical minister, kept her faith while standing by her daughter. Sister Nancy Corcoran, a Catholic nun, now gathers parents doing the same.
Is "exploratory therapy" a safe alternative?
Be careful. Linda Robertson warns that "conversion therapy" has been rebranded as "exploratory therapy," "therapy first," and "values-aligned counseling." Ask any provider whether the goal is to change how your child sees themselves.
What does research say about family support for transgender kids?
Family Acceptance Project research found serious depression more than doubled among young adults whose parents tried to change them. A 2020 JAMA Psychiatry study of transgender adults linked change efforts to more than double the odds of a past suicide attempt.
What should I do if my child is in crisis?
Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available any hour of the day. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911.
Sources and Further Reading
Research on Family Support and Harm
Crisis Support
Real Stories From Christian Parents
CT4F Resources for Families