Dec 17, 2025
How Do I Talk To My Son / Daughter About Conversion Therapy? Advice From Christian Parents
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy for their children consistently report regret and damaged family relationships.
When your child shares their struggle, your first response matters more than having all the answers.
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
You don't have to choose between loving your child and staying faithful to God.
If your child has come to you with questions about their sexuality or gender identity, or if someone in your church has recommended conversion therapy, you're facing one of the most difficult conversations a Christian parent can have. You want to do right by your child. You want to honor God. And you're being pulled in different directions by people who claim to have the answers.
Before you say anything to your child, hear from parents who walked this path before you.
What Parents Who've Been There Want You To Know
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, spent years trying to change his child instead of accepting who God made. Looking back, he sees clearly what went wrong.
"I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," Boulware said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Brandon's transformation didn't come from abandoning his faith. It came from realizing that his job as a dad wasn't to fix his child. It was to love him. His experience echoes what other Christian parents who regret conversion therapy consistently describe.
Linda Robertson, a devoted Christian mother from Washington, tells a more painful story. When her son Ryan came out at 12 years old, Linda felt overwhelming terror. She found organizations that promised to "eradicate the threat" to Ryan through conversion therapy.
"I thought I was protecting Ryan, but I was wrong," Linda says now. After six years of Ryan doing everything conversion therapy demanded, nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. Ryan died in 2009.
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," Linda explains. "Instead, it taught Ryan that he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me."
How To Have THE Conversation
When your child comes to you with questions about their identity, your first response shapes everything that follows.
Lead with love first.
Paulette Trimmer, whose son Adam nearly didn't survive his conversion therapy experience, puts it simply: "We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love." When Adam came out at 17, Paulette's first response came from a place of love twisted by fear. She quoted scripture instead of hugging him. "I remember hearing him tell someone, 'When I went to my mom, instead of getting love and support, I got religion,'" she says.
Don't promise to "fix" anything.
Parents consistently report that the pressure to pursue "solutions" came from well-meaning church members. Dusty Farr, a mother in Oklahoma, says the pressure to send her son to "therapy first" nearly destroyed their bond. "We were told it was the only way to keep him safe and faithful. It did the opposite."
Be honest about what you don't know.
You don't need to have all the answers. One father shared: "I didn't know what to do, but I knew I loved him unconditionally." That was enough to keep the relationship intact while the family worked through hard questions together. For guidance on what the Bible actually says about conversion therapy, many parents find clarity in studying scripture directly.
What the Research Says
The Family Acceptance Project has developed resources specifically for faith-focused families. Their research shows that family-accepting behaviors help protect children against depression, substance abuse, and suicide.
Their approach helps parents learn to support their children even when they believe that homosexuality is wrong. You can honor your beliefs and protect your child's well-being at the same time. Evidence-based family support models have been shown to reduce suicide risk and depression by half. Faith-based alternatives to conversion therapy exist that strengthen families rather than divide them.
The Question That Changes Everything
When Linda Robertson looks back, she wishes someone had asked her: What kind of relationship do you want with your child in 20 years?
Conversion therapy promises to bring children back to faith and family. But parents who pursued it consistently report the opposite outcome. For some families, healing has never fully come.
If you're uncertain about whether conversion therapy is harmful, listen to the parents who've been there. Faith teaches that love endures all things. Families who face these struggles with honesty and grace come through stronger and closer.
Your child needs you to be their parent, not their fixer. As Brandon Boulware discovered: "My job isn't to fix my kid. It's to love them."
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What should I say first when my child tells me they're gay or transgender?
A: Lead with love. Tell them you love them and you're grateful they trusted you. Parents like Paulette Trimmer regret responding with scripture instead of a hug. Your child needs to know the relationship is secure before you work through difficult questions together.
Q: Can I still hold my Christian beliefs while supporting my child?
A: Yes. The Family Acceptance Project has developed approaches specifically for religiously conservative families, helping parents support their children while honoring their faith.
Q: What do parents who tried conversion therapy say about their experience?
A: Parents consistently report regret. Linda Robertson's son Ryan died after six years of conversion therapy. Brandon Boulware says he wasted years trying to change his child instead of loving him.
Q: What are better alternatives to conversion therapy for Christian families?
A: Faith-aligned families seeking alternatives should lean on resources rooted in strengthening family ties, like those from the Family Acceptance Project. Start with evidence-based family support models and pastoral counselors trained in family-first approaches.
Q: How does conversion therapy affect family relationships?
A: Family relationships are often deeply damaged, and many never recover. These programs teach children that their parents rejected them at their most vulnerable moment.
Recent posts
Dec 17, 2025
Dec 17, 2025
How Do I Talk To My Son / Daughter About Conversion Therapy? Advice From Christian Parents
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy for their children consistently report regret and damaged family relationships.
When your child shares their struggle, your first response matters more than having all the answers.
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
You don't have to choose between loving your child and staying faithful to God.
If your child has come to you with questions about their sexuality or gender identity, or if someone in your church has recommended conversion therapy, you're facing one of the most difficult conversations a Christian parent can have. You want to do right by your child. You want to honor God. And you're being pulled in different directions by people who claim to have the answers.
Before you say anything to your child, hear from parents who walked this path before you.
What Parents Who've Been There Want You To Know
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, spent years trying to change his child instead of accepting who God made. Looking back, he sees clearly what went wrong.
"I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," Boulware said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Brandon's transformation didn't come from abandoning his faith. It came from realizing that his job as a dad wasn't to fix his child. It was to love him. His experience echoes what other Christian parents who regret conversion therapy consistently describe.
Linda Robertson, a devoted Christian mother from Washington, tells a more painful story. When her son Ryan came out at 12 years old, Linda felt overwhelming terror. She found organizations that promised to "eradicate the threat" to Ryan through conversion therapy.
"I thought I was protecting Ryan, but I was wrong," Linda says now. After six years of Ryan doing everything conversion therapy demanded, nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. Ryan died in 2009.
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," Linda explains. "Instead, it taught Ryan that he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me."
How To Have THE Conversation
When your child comes to you with questions about their identity, your first response shapes everything that follows.
Lead with love first.
Paulette Trimmer, whose son Adam nearly didn't survive his conversion therapy experience, puts it simply: "We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love." When Adam came out at 17, Paulette's first response came from a place of love twisted by fear. She quoted scripture instead of hugging him. "I remember hearing him tell someone, 'When I went to my mom, instead of getting love and support, I got religion,'" she says.
Don't promise to "fix" anything.
Parents consistently report that the pressure to pursue "solutions" came from well-meaning church members. Dusty Farr, a mother in Oklahoma, says the pressure to send her son to "therapy first" nearly destroyed their bond. "We were told it was the only way to keep him safe and faithful. It did the opposite."
Be honest about what you don't know.
You don't need to have all the answers. One father shared: "I didn't know what to do, but I knew I loved him unconditionally." That was enough to keep the relationship intact while the family worked through hard questions together. For guidance on what the Bible actually says about conversion therapy, many parents find clarity in studying scripture directly.
What the Research Says
The Family Acceptance Project has developed resources specifically for faith-focused families. Their research shows that family-accepting behaviors help protect children against depression, substance abuse, and suicide.
Their approach helps parents learn to support their children even when they believe that homosexuality is wrong. You can honor your beliefs and protect your child's well-being at the same time. Evidence-based family support models have been shown to reduce suicide risk and depression by half. Faith-based alternatives to conversion therapy exist that strengthen families rather than divide them.
The Question That Changes Everything
When Linda Robertson looks back, she wishes someone had asked her: What kind of relationship do you want with your child in 20 years?
Conversion therapy promises to bring children back to faith and family. But parents who pursued it consistently report the opposite outcome. For some families, healing has never fully come.
If you're uncertain about whether conversion therapy is harmful, listen to the parents who've been there. Faith teaches that love endures all things. Families who face these struggles with honesty and grace come through stronger and closer.
Your child needs you to be their parent, not their fixer. As Brandon Boulware discovered: "My job isn't to fix my kid. It's to love them."
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What should I say first when my child tells me they're gay or transgender?
A: Lead with love. Tell them you love them and you're grateful they trusted you. Parents like Paulette Trimmer regret responding with scripture instead of a hug. Your child needs to know the relationship is secure before you work through difficult questions together.
Q: Can I still hold my Christian beliefs while supporting my child?
A: Yes. The Family Acceptance Project has developed approaches specifically for religiously conservative families, helping parents support their children while honoring their faith.
Q: What do parents who tried conversion therapy say about their experience?
A: Parents consistently report regret. Linda Robertson's son Ryan died after six years of conversion therapy. Brandon Boulware says he wasted years trying to change his child instead of loving him.
Q: What are better alternatives to conversion therapy for Christian families?
A: Faith-aligned families seeking alternatives should lean on resources rooted in strengthening family ties, like those from the Family Acceptance Project. Start with evidence-based family support models and pastoral counselors trained in family-first approaches.
Q: How does conversion therapy affect family relationships?
A: Family relationships are often deeply damaged, and many never recover. These programs teach children that their parents rejected them at their most vulnerable moment.
Recent posts
Dec 17, 2025
Dec 17, 2025
How Do I Talk To My Son / Daughter About Conversion Therapy? Advice From Christian Parents
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy for their children consistently report regret and damaged family relationships.
When your child shares their struggle, your first response matters more than having all the answers.
Research-based family support approaches help parents protect their children while honoring their faith.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all.
You don't have to choose between loving your child and staying faithful to God.
If your child has come to you with questions about their sexuality or gender identity, or if someone in your church has recommended conversion therapy, you're facing one of the most difficult conversations a Christian parent can have. You want to do right by your child. You want to honor God. And you're being pulled in different directions by people who claim to have the answers.
Before you say anything to your child, hear from parents who walked this path before you.
What Parents Who've Been There Want You To Know
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, spent years trying to change his child instead of accepting who God made. Looking back, he sees clearly what went wrong.
"I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," Boulware said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Brandon's transformation didn't come from abandoning his faith. It came from realizing that his job as a dad wasn't to fix his child. It was to love him. His experience echoes what other Christian parents who regret conversion therapy consistently describe.
Linda Robertson, a devoted Christian mother from Washington, tells a more painful story. When her son Ryan came out at 12 years old, Linda felt overwhelming terror. She found organizations that promised to "eradicate the threat" to Ryan through conversion therapy.
"I thought I was protecting Ryan, but I was wrong," Linda says now. After six years of Ryan doing everything conversion therapy demanded, nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. Ryan died in 2009.
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," Linda explains. "Instead, it taught Ryan that he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me."
How To Have THE Conversation
When your child comes to you with questions about their identity, your first response shapes everything that follows.
Lead with love first.
Paulette Trimmer, whose son Adam nearly didn't survive his conversion therapy experience, puts it simply: "We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love." When Adam came out at 17, Paulette's first response came from a place of love twisted by fear. She quoted scripture instead of hugging him. "I remember hearing him tell someone, 'When I went to my mom, instead of getting love and support, I got religion,'" she says.
Don't promise to "fix" anything.
Parents consistently report that the pressure to pursue "solutions" came from well-meaning church members. Dusty Farr, a mother in Oklahoma, says the pressure to send her son to "therapy first" nearly destroyed their bond. "We were told it was the only way to keep him safe and faithful. It did the opposite."
Be honest about what you don't know.
You don't need to have all the answers. One father shared: "I didn't know what to do, but I knew I loved him unconditionally." That was enough to keep the relationship intact while the family worked through hard questions together. For guidance on what the Bible actually says about conversion therapy, many parents find clarity in studying scripture directly.
What the Research Says
The Family Acceptance Project has developed resources specifically for faith-focused families. Their research shows that family-accepting behaviors help protect children against depression, substance abuse, and suicide.
Their approach helps parents learn to support their children even when they believe that homosexuality is wrong. You can honor your beliefs and protect your child's well-being at the same time. Evidence-based family support models have been shown to reduce suicide risk and depression by half. Faith-based alternatives to conversion therapy exist that strengthen families rather than divide them.
The Question That Changes Everything
When Linda Robertson looks back, she wishes someone had asked her: What kind of relationship do you want with your child in 20 years?
Conversion therapy promises to bring children back to faith and family. But parents who pursued it consistently report the opposite outcome. For some families, healing has never fully come.
If you're uncertain about whether conversion therapy is harmful, listen to the parents who've been there. Faith teaches that love endures all things. Families who face these struggles with honesty and grace come through stronger and closer.
Your child needs you to be their parent, not their fixer. As Brandon Boulware discovered: "My job isn't to fix my kid. It's to love them."
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What should I say first when my child tells me they're gay or transgender?
A: Lead with love. Tell them you love them and you're grateful they trusted you. Parents like Paulette Trimmer regret responding with scripture instead of a hug. Your child needs to know the relationship is secure before you work through difficult questions together.
Q: Can I still hold my Christian beliefs while supporting my child?
A: Yes. The Family Acceptance Project has developed approaches specifically for religiously conservative families, helping parents support their children while honoring their faith.
Q: What do parents who tried conversion therapy say about their experience?
A: Parents consistently report regret. Linda Robertson's son Ryan died after six years of conversion therapy. Brandon Boulware says he wasted years trying to change his child instead of loving him.
Q: What are better alternatives to conversion therapy for Christian families?
A: Faith-aligned families seeking alternatives should lean on resources rooted in strengthening family ties, like those from the Family Acceptance Project. Start with evidence-based family support models and pastoral counselors trained in family-first approaches.
Q: How does conversion therapy affect family relationships?
A: Family relationships are often deeply damaged, and many never recover. These programs teach children that their parents rejected them at their most vulnerable moment.