Quick Takeaways

• "Gender confusion" is a colloquial phrase often used by parents; "gender dysphoria" is a clinical term describing significant distress when a child's sense of self doesn't align with the way they were born.

• Understanding these terms helps parents have more productive conversations with their children, doctors, and faith leaders.

• Knowing the difference between pastoral support and conversion therapy can protect your family from practices that damage relationships.

• You can stay rooted in your faith while learning to understand what your child is experiencing.

When your child comes to you with questions about who they are, you may find yourself navigating unfamiliar territory. Doctors, counselors, and news headlines use terms that can feel foreign. You want to understand. You want to help. But how can you have meaningful conversations if you're unsure what certain words even mean?

This glossary helps Christian parents of gay or transgender children make sense of the terminology surrounding gender and sexual orientation. Our goal is not to tell you what to believe but to give you the knowledge you need to engage thoughtfully.

Gender Confusion

"Gender confusion" is a phrase you'll often hear in faith communities. It generally describes a child or teen who seems uncertain about their identity as male or female. This is not a clinical diagnosis but a way many parents describe what they're observing.

If your child is questioning how they see themselves, this doesn't mean something is permanently "wrong." It means they're wrestling with big questions and need your presence and patience more than quick answers.

Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is a clinical term. According to a SAMHSA report, it refers to clinically significant distress caused when a person's sense of their own gender doesn't align with the way they were born. This distress, rather than the questioning itself, is what mental health professionals focus on.

Not every child who questions their identity experiences dysphoria. The medical community distinguishes between gender diversity (part of the wide range of human experience) and gender dysphoria (which involves real psychological distress that may benefit from support).

Gender Identity

Gender identity is a person's innermost sense of self as male, female, a blend of both, or neither. For most children, this aligns with their bodies. For some, it doesn't.

Understanding this term helps you listen without immediately jumping to fear. Listening is not the same as endorsing. It's simply the first step in staying connected.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation describes a person's emotional, romantic, or physical attraction to others. It's separate from gender identity. Many Christian parents find it helpful to understand this distinction so they can ask better questions.

Conversion Therapy

What is conversion therapy? It refers to practices that claim to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. Despite promises made by some practitioners, no credible evidence supports these claims. What research does show is that such practices often damage the trust between parents and children, sometimes permanently.

As one Christian mother shared in a legal brief submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court, "We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love."

Faith-Based Support vs. Conversion Therapy

There's an important difference between faith-based therapy and conversion therapy. Pastoral care that supports your family through a difficult season is not the same as conversion therapy that promises to "fix" your child. Faith-based support focuses on strengthening family bonds and seeking God's guidance together. Conversion therapy focuses on changing your child, often through shame-based techniques that backfire.

FreedHearts, a Christian organization founded to help families navigate these challenges, offers courses and support groups specifically designed to help parents and children work through religious and community wounds together.

Is Any Of This Legal?

Parents often wonder: Is conversion therapy legal? The answer depends on where you live. More than two dozen U.S. states have enacted protections for minors, but even in states with bans, unlicensed providers may still operate. Knowing your state's laws helps you make informed decisions.

A Word Of Encouragement

Learning new vocabulary doesn't mean abandoning your values. It means equipping yourself to be the parent your child needs. Many parents before you have walked this road and found a way forward that honors both their beliefs and their bond with their child.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the difference between gender confusion and gender dysphoria?

A: "Gender confusion" is a colloquial term describing a child questioning their identity. "Gender dysphoria" is a clinical term describing significant distress when someone's sense of self doesn't match the way they were born.

Q: Can gender dysphoria be treated?

A: Mental health professionals focus on addressing the distress, not on trying to change who a child is. 

Q: Is conversion therapy the same as pastoral counseling?

A: No. Pastoral counseling supports a family through challenges. Conversion therapy specifically attempts to change a child's orientation or identity and has been rejected by every major medical organization.

Q: How can I support my child without compromising my faith?

A: Many Christian parents have found that focusing on love, safety, and connection does not require abandoning their beliefs. Faith-based alternatives to conversion therapy provide guidance for this journey.

Q: Where can I find more resources?

A: Conversion Truth For Families offers practical tools, real parent stories, and faith-focused resources to help you make informed decisions.