What is “conversion therapy” and why am I hearing it discussed so much lately?
Conversion therapy refers to any effort to change a person’s sexual orientation or “gender identity.” It goes by “change efforts” in some places. There are no verified claims that conversion therapy can make someone not be transgender, but practitioners say otherwise, preying on parents who they know are desperate for guidance.
“Exploratory psychotherapy” is being promoted as a first-line response to a child saying they are transgender or questioning their gender. But “exploratory psychotherapy” is just another name for conversion therapy – repackaged to mislead you and increase the odds that you’ll buy into this sinful practice in a moment of fear or confusion.
“We were promised help. Instead, our family fell apart.”
For many Christian parents, the decision to seek help when a child comes out as transgender or questioning isn’t made lightly. It’s made out of love — and fear. Parents are promised that programs rooted in “faith” or “healing” will bring peace to our families. Instead, countless parents say those promises left them with heartbreak that will never fully heal.
Dusty Farr, a mother in Oklahoma, says the pressure to send her son to “therapy first” nearly destroyed their bond. “We were told it was the only way to keep him safe and faithful. It did the opposite. It broke his spirit.”
Dusty Farr, a mother in Oklahoma, says the pressure to send her son to “therapy first” nearly destroyed their bond. “We were told it was the only way to keep him safe and faithful. It did the opposite. It broke his spirit.”
A Christian mother raising her family in Alaska looks back with regret at having believed that sending her teenage daughter Lillian to a residential treatment center for conversion therapy would “fix” things. The Lennon family has never fully healed, she said.
In a series of sworn statements submitted to the U.S. Supreme Court this year, other parents — like Linda Robertson and Joyce Calvo — shared how conversion therapy took their children’s lives.
Both described being reassured by church counselors that these programs would “bring their children back.” Instead, they wrote, “our children are gone, and so are we.”
Another mother, Paulette Trimmer, whose daughter barely survived her conversion therapy experience, urged our justice system to protect families from making the same mistake.
“We thought we were choosing faith,” she said. “But faith would have chosen love.”
Each of these parents believed they were doing the right thing. Each discovered too late that “conversion therapy,” no matter how softly it’s repackaged, tears families apart — not because of a lack of faith, but because of misplaced trust.
(We’ll continue adding verified parent testimonials as we find them. if you have one to share, please consider reaching out to us via email at contact@conversiontruthforfamilies.org)
If “conversion therapy” is so bad, why isn't it illegal?
Laws are shifting, but more than two dozen U.S. states have put laws in place to enhance protection for children and families from the harms of conversion therapy. But even in states with protections, unlicensed providers may still operate, so beware.
We did our own research. The science matches the human experience.
Experts from all over the country say they’ve found no proof that conversion therapy can really do what practitioners say it can. But it’s not just false advertising. Conversion therapy is a sinful and sometimes deadly harm.
Exposure to conversion practices is linked to depression, PTSD, and suicidal thoughts (according to a study in Santa Clara County of over 4,000 adults)
Just the memory of going through conversion practices causes severe negative emotions, from suicidal thoughts and post-traumatic stress disorder (the same condition commonly experienced by soldiers on the frontlines of violent wars, after the fact) - this was the conclusion of a 2024 study published in a psychiatric journal, The Lancet.
In a survey conducted last year, more than 7,000 kids and teens who reported that they feel they might be, or say they are, transgender or homosexual/bisexual reported that they had seriously considered suicide in the last 12 months, and that those feelings were made worse by shame tactics – the central tactic of conversion therapy, where the kids themselves and their parents are ashamed by the practitioner claiming to want to help them
Red flags parents should watch for:
As you’re navigating this challenging period and searching for the guidance you can trust, walk away if you see any of these across your research:
Promises to change or “resolve” identity (even softly worded)
Pressure to “test” your child’s identity through stress or deprivation
Shame-based tactics that frame a child’s identity as moral failure (including moral failure by you, the parent)
Lack of verified, evidence-based safety plans to reduce suicide risk
What can we do instead? (Safer, faith-aligned first steps)
Choose therapists who who focus on family connection, coping skills, and safety
Build a home safety plan that’s consistent with your beliefs and your child’s dignity. Elevated suicide risk is very real; loving presence and support matter.
Stay rooted in faith and facts. Plenty of Christian families have found ways to keep both.
Build a home safety plan that’s consistent with your beliefs and your child’s dignity. Elevated suicide risk is very real; loving presence and support matter.
Be selective with who you choose to trust in this difficult moment. If you decide that professional counsel is right for you, choose support from certified therapists who focus on family connection, coping skills, and safety – not charlatans who level shame and blame tactics at both your child and you.