Danny and Drew Cortez: A Baptist Pastor's Sermon of Support

Danny Cortez founded and pastored New Heart Community Church, a Southern Baptist congregation in La Mirada, California. For years, his church answered gay and lesbian members with one of two options: celibacy or reparative therapy. Danny was a pastor, a father, and a believer in the system he led.

Then his son, Drew, told him he was gay. Danny did not hesitate. He hugged his son, and then he did something far harder. He stood in front of his entire congregation, told them the truth, and preached a sermon of support, knowing it could cost him his job and his church's place in the denomination.

It did. But Danny says he was at peace, and his story is the clearest answer there is for the parent or pastor who fears that acceptance means giving up faith, ministry, or leadership.

Snapshot of This True Story:

• Danny Cortez was the founder and pastor of New Heart Community Church, a Southern Baptist congregation in La Mirada, California.

• His church had recommended either celibacy or reparative therapy to congregants who identified as gay or lesbian.

• Over roughly 15 years, congregants kept coming out to him in private, and his certainty slowly wore away.

• In 2014, Drew told his father he was gay during a ride to school, and Danny turned and hugged him hard.

• In February 2014, Danny told his whole congregation about his change of heart, even though it likely meant losing his position.

• The congregation split, the Southern Baptist Convention cut ties with the church, and Danny and the members who stayed formed a new, LGBTQ-inclusive, nondenominational church.

• In June 2014, Danny and Drew were invited to a White House reception celebrating LGBT Pride Month.

A Pastor Whose Certainty Wore Away

Danny's change of heart did not begin the day his son came out. It started years earlier, quietly, in his own office. By his own account, people in his congregation had been coming out to him every year for about 15 years. Each of them heard the same answer his church gave: stay celibate, or try to change.

Something shifted when a neighbor invited him to visit the HIV clinic where the neighbor worked. There, according to StoryCorps, Danny met a community he had known little about, and a gradual change of heart began. By 2013, he later wrote, he no longer believed the traditional teaching he had preached.

For pastors especially, this is the part worth sitting with. Danny did not abandon his faith to get here. He listened to the people in front of him, and what he heard no longer fit the answer he had been giving them.

"Dad, I'm Gay"

The moment itself was ordinary. Danny was driving Drew to school when his son turned to him and said, as LGBTQ Nation reported, "Dad, I'm gay."

Danny turned and hugged him as hard as he could. He told his son he loved him. There was no lecture and no hesitation. It was the reaction every young person hopes for, and it came from a man who, until recently, had been trained to give a different one.

What Reparative Therapy Would Have Meant

Danny understood exactly what he had been spared from doing. He wrote that if he had stayed in his old beliefs, "I may have destroyed my son through reparative therapy," a statement reported by the Christian Post.

He had reason to say so. Reparative therapy is conversion therapy by another name, and it has been found ineffective and harmful. The medical consensus stands firmly against it, and its documented harms include an elevated suicide risk.

The wider research on how families respond is just as stark. The Family Acceptance Project found that LGB young adults who reported high levels of family rejection as teenagers were 8.4 times more likely to have attempted suicide than peers from families with little or no rejection. A father who responds with a hug is doing more than being kind. He is protecting his child.

A Sermon Instead of a Secret

Danny could have kept the news private. Instead, he told his congregation on February 9, 2014. Speaking with StoryCorps later, he remembered arriving that morning with his blood pressure racing, the whole church wondering what was happening. Then, as he spoke, something changed. He felt empowered in a way he had not felt in a long time, and he knew that what he was sharing mattered.

He told the congregation how Drew had come out to him, and he told them what he had been asked since. People wanted to know how it felt to know he might be fired in a few weeks. His answer, delivered from the pulpit, became the heart of his story:

"I'm at peace. I'm at peace because I know my heart has been enlarged."

Drew was in the pews. He remembers feeling vulnerable and wondering what would come next. For Drew, the stakes were not abstract. He had often felt treated as a problem, even hearing his name paired with a harsh word in the same sentence, and his father found that painful to hear.

What It Cost, and What It Gave

The consequences were real. The congregation split. On September 23, 2014, the Southern Baptist Convention's Executive Committee voted unanimously to withdraw fellowship from the church. Danny and the members who stayed went on to form a new, LGBTQ-inclusive, nondenominational church.

But Danny describes the sermon as a release. When he sat down, he said, a weight lifted, and people knew where his family stood. Earlier that summer, in June 2014, he and Drew had also received a White House invitation to a reception celebrating LGBT Pride Month.

Danny is honest that questions remained. He wants to love people who disagree with him. He also keeps asking how to do that in a way that honors his son. It is the same question many parents of faith carry, and he does not pretend it has a tidy answer.

A Father's Answer for Parents and Pastors

Many of the parent stories in this section are told by mothers. Danny's is told by a father and by a pastor, and it speaks to a fear that sits at the center of many conservative churches: that supporting a child will cost you your faith, your calling, or your place in the community.

Danny's answer is that it may cost you a denomination, but it did not cost him his faith. He kept his belief in God and, with the members who stayed, built a new church. What he lost was an institution's approval. What he kept was his son.

If you are a parent or a pastor standing where Danny once stood, his story offers a simple invitation. Listen to the people in front of you. Let your child be the first person you protect. And trust that a heart that has been enlarged is not a heart that has been lost.

Key Lessons from Danny and Drew's Story for Parents and Pastors

Listen to the people in your pews and your home. Danny's change began when he stopped answering and started listening, years before his own son came out.

Your first reaction can be a hug. Danny turned and held his son. A parent's first response sets the tone for everything that follows.

Reparative therapy is not a kindness. Danny understood that his old answer could have harmed his son. Every major medical body agrees that conversion therapy does not work and causes real harm.

You can say it out loud. Danny told his entire congregation rather than hide the truth. Telling the truth, even at a cost, can lift a weight and show your child where you stand.

Acceptance may cost an institution, not your faith. Danny's denomination cut ties, but he did not abandon his belief in God. A denomination's decision about membership is not a verdict on your faith.

A father's voice matters. Danny's example shows what it looks like when a dad leads the way, in the car, in the pulpit, and at home.

If you or a young person you know is struggling or thinking about suicide, help is available. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is reachable by call or text at 988, and The Trevor Project offers support specifically for LGBTQ+ young people.

Share Your Own Story

If this account resonated with you and you'd like to share your story, please feel free to share your own experiences surrounding conversion therapy in any capacity. We look forward to hearing your story.