Quick Takeaways

• Conversion therapy attempts to change sexual orientation or gender identity but consistently fails while causing lasting harm

• Christian parents who tried conversion therapy universally express regret, reporting destroyed relationships and damaged faith

• Even Exodus International, once the largest conversion therapy organization, shut down after admitting they never saw the promised changes

• You can maintain strong faith while loving your child without conversion therapy - thousands of Christian families prove this daily

When your child shares something unexpected about their identity, you want answers grounded in both faith and truth. Here are the questions Christian parents ask most, answered by families who've walked this path before you.

What exactly is conversion therapy?

Conversion therapy refers to any practice attempting to change someone's sexual orientation or gender identity. These programs use various names: "reparative therapy," "healing from homosexuality," or recently, "exploratory therapy."

The techniques vary from talk therapy to shame-based approaches, but families report consistent outcomes. Linda Robertson, who lost her son Ryan after years of conversion therapy, explains: "We thought we were doing the right thing. Instead, it drove him to drugs to cope with the pain of constantly failing to change something he couldn't change."

Will I see success with conversion therapy? Or will I regret it?

Without exception, every parent sharing their story publicly expresses profound regret. Paulette Trimmer sent her son, Adam, to multiple programs after he attempted suicide. "When he came back, he was totally different toward us. He was hateful," she recalls. The programs taught Adam his parents caused his homosexuality, destroying their relationship for years.

Martha Conley, whose son's experience became the movie "Boy Erased," reflects: "We went because we loved Garrard. We had no idea that what we thought was help would become trauma he carries today."

Joyce Calvo lost her daughter, Alana, to suicide after conversion therapy. She now warns other parents: "The shame these practices instill doesn't lead to change - it leads to despair."

Doesn't conversion therapy bring children closer to God?

This might be parents' most painful discovery: conversion therapy drives children away from faith. Pastor Robert Cottrell, who counsels thousands of Christian families, shares: "Conversion therapy doesn't just rob children of religious faith; it may destroy their capacity for spiritual connection."

Alana Chen dreamed of becoming a nun before entering conversion therapy. Shortly before taking her life, she said, "I've basically lost my faith. I think if there is a God, he doesn't need me talking to him anymore."

When institutions meant to represent God's love deliver shame and false promises, young people often abandon faith entirely.

What harm does conversion therapy actually cause?

Research documents increased depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide attempts among those undergoing conversion therapy. But statistics only tell part of the story.

Adam Trimmer describes his experience: "I was a perfect, golden, super-Christian ideal man. Inside, I was scared, broken, and afraid." The therapy taught him he was fundamentally flawed and his parents were to blame.

Parents consistently report two devastating outcomes. First, witnessing their child's life unravel through addiction and mental health crises. Second, the destruction of their relationship. For children raised in religious homes, when parents send them to harmful therapy, it shatters their core belief in family itself. Many relationships never recover.

Is conversion therapy worth the cost?

Beyond emotional damage, conversion therapy operates as a profitable industry. Parents report paying thousands per program, often trying multiple programs as each failure gets blamed on insufficient faith or effort.

Robert Cottrell states bluntly: "Anyone claiming they can change your child's identity through therapy contradicts decades of evidence. Conversion therapy is a scam."

Even Exodus International, once promoting conversion therapy to tens of thousands, shut down in 2013. Their leaders apologized, acknowledging they had never seen the promised changes, which caused tremendous harm.

But don't some people successfully change through these programs?

No credible evidence supports lasting orientation change through any form of therapy. Even Exodus International, once the world's largest conversion therapy organization with tens of thousands of participants, shut down in 2013. Their leaders apologized, acknowledging they had never seen the changes they promised and had instead caused tremendous harm.

The APA, AMA, and virtually every major mental health organization have concluded that conversion therapy doesn't work and causes significant harm. When professionals who dedicated their careers to this practice admit failure, when parents universally express regret, and when no peer-reviewed research demonstrates success, the evidence becomes undeniable.

Suppressing behavior or entering heterosexual marriages doesn't change sexual orientation and often causes deep suffering for all involved, including spouses and children.

Can I keep my faith and accept my child?

Absolutely. Thousands of Christian parents maintain strong faith while loving their children as God made them.

Paulette Trimmer still attends her Pentecostal church. When asked how she reconciles her faith with accepting her gay son, she answers: "I love God, I am not going to change that. And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."

These parents haven't abandoned scripture. They've discovered that examining the fruit, as Jesus instructed, reveals that conversion therapy produces only destruction, while families choosing acceptance report stronger relationships and deeper faith.

What should I do instead of conversion therapy?

Trust your parental instincts. Paulette Trimmer, by finally telling her son "no" to a third conversion therapy program despite his pleas, likely saved his life. "I don't know what they're teaching you," she told him, "but it's killing our relationship with you." Her instinct was correct.

Seek a licensed counselor focused on family health and communication, not orientation change. These professionals help families navigate complex emotions while maintaining loving relationships and report far better outcomes than conversion therapy providers.

Remember that your job as a parent is to love your child to the ends of the earth and be their safe place, whatever their story. Creating that safety doesn't require changing your faith. It requires being trustworthy with your child's truth.

Connect with Christian parents on similar journeys. Faith-respecting organizations offer community and wisdom from those who've gone before, providing realistic hope grounded in love, something conversion therapy cannot.

Choose love. Choose truth. Choose the path that preserves your family rather than destroying it. Your child's life may depend on it.