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We Didn't Know It Had a Name: Christian Parents on Recognizing the Harm and Finding Their Way Back to Each Other
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Quick Takeaways
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults.
The same researchers found the reverse holds: children whose families stood by them reported far lower levels of depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Studies of people pressured to change who they are, including minors, link the experience to higher odds of suicide attempts, with the greatest risk among those pushed youngest.
Recognizing the harm does not require setting aside your faith. For many families, it is where repair begins.
Direct Answer: Many Christian parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” did so out of love, never knowing the practice had a name or a track record. Research gives that experience language. Studies from the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University found that young adults who faced high family rejection as teens were far more likely to report depression and suicide attempts than those whose families stood by them. The same research found the reverse is also true: family support strongly protects a child’s health. Recognizing the harm is not a verdict on your faith or your intentions. It is the first step many families take toward repair. You can grieve what happened, hold to your convictions, and find your way back to your child at the same time.
The Practices Many Families Never Knew to Name
When a child first shares something new about who they are or who they are attracted to, most parents want to do right by them but are unsure how. Some are steered by a trusted counselor toward sessions that promise to help the child change. Today these “conversion therapy” practices rarely resemble the hospital techniques of decades past. They usually look like talking or prayer, offered by a licensed professional in a quiet office. That ordinariness is part of why so many families never recognized what it was, or that it had a name.
What the Studies Found About Rejection and Harm
The most cited research comes from the Family Acceptance Project, which studied young adults who are gay and, in later work, transgender. It found that teens who experienced high levels of family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, and nearly six times more likely to report high levels of depression, than peers whose families were only a little rejecting or not at all. Later research on people pressured to change how they see themselves, including minors, found similar patterns, and the risk of suicide attempts was highest among those pushed at the youngest ages. The studies point one direction: pressure to change a child tends to wound, not heal.
What the Same Research Found About Coming Back Together
The same researchers measured the other direction too. Young adults whose families had shown support scored higher on self-esteem, social support, and general health. About half as many reported suicidal thoughts in the previous six months compared with those from rejecting homes, roughly 18 percent versus 38 percent. Support did not mean parents abandoned their beliefs. It meant everyday things: listening, keeping a child close, and standing up for them.
Finding Your Way Back to Each Other
Researchers also found that religious families can learn to stand by a child while holding to their faith, drawing on the same values of mercy, compassion, and family that scripture teaches. Recognizing that a practice caused harm is not the same as deciding you failed. Many parents describe it instead as the moment repair became possible. If the law matters to you, protections like Colorado’s, at issue in Chiles v. Salazar, exist to keep these practices away from kids. Loving your child and living out your convictions were never in conflict.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “we didn’t know it had a name” mean?
Many parents are steered toward “conversion therapy” without ever hearing that term or its history. It often looks like ordinary talk or prayer, so families rarely recognize it as a practice that major health bodies have rejected.
What did the studies actually find?
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults, while family support was linked to lower depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Does recognizing the harm mean I have to give up my faith?
No. Researchers found religious families can stand by a child while keeping their beliefs, leaning on shared values of compassion, love, and family.
Is it too late to repair my relationship with my child?
Research and family stories suggest repair is possible at many points. Support shows up in everyday actions: listening, staying close, and standing up for your child.
Where can I learn more about the harm these practices cause? CT4F’s guide on the risks and harms of conversion therapy and its mental health research summary walk through the studies in plain language.
Sources and Further Reading
What the Studies Found
CT4F Resources for Families
Recent posts
We Didn't Know It Had a Name: Christian Parents on Recognizing the Harm and Finding Their Way Back to Each Other
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Quick Takeaways
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults.
The same researchers found the reverse holds: children whose families stood by them reported far lower levels of depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Studies of people pressured to change who they are, including minors, link the experience to higher odds of suicide attempts, with the greatest risk among those pushed youngest.
Recognizing the harm does not require setting aside your faith. For many families, it is where repair begins.
Direct Answer: Many Christian parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” did so out of love, never knowing the practice had a name or a track record. Research gives that experience language. Studies from the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University found that young adults who faced high family rejection as teens were far more likely to report depression and suicide attempts than those whose families stood by them. The same research found the reverse is also true: family support strongly protects a child’s health. Recognizing the harm is not a verdict on your faith or your intentions. It is the first step many families take toward repair. You can grieve what happened, hold to your convictions, and find your way back to your child at the same time.
The Practices Many Families Never Knew to Name
When a child first shares something new about who they are or who they are attracted to, most parents want to do right by them but are unsure how. Some are steered by a trusted counselor toward sessions that promise to help the child change. Today these “conversion therapy” practices rarely resemble the hospital techniques of decades past. They usually look like talking or prayer, offered by a licensed professional in a quiet office. That ordinariness is part of why so many families never recognized what it was, or that it had a name.
What the Studies Found About Rejection and Harm
The most cited research comes from the Family Acceptance Project, which studied young adults who are gay and, in later work, transgender. It found that teens who experienced high levels of family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, and nearly six times more likely to report high levels of depression, than peers whose families were only a little rejecting or not at all. Later research on people pressured to change how they see themselves, including minors, found similar patterns, and the risk of suicide attempts was highest among those pushed at the youngest ages. The studies point one direction: pressure to change a child tends to wound, not heal.
What the Same Research Found About Coming Back Together
The same researchers measured the other direction too. Young adults whose families had shown support scored higher on self-esteem, social support, and general health. About half as many reported suicidal thoughts in the previous six months compared with those from rejecting homes, roughly 18 percent versus 38 percent. Support did not mean parents abandoned their beliefs. It meant everyday things: listening, keeping a child close, and standing up for them.
Finding Your Way Back to Each Other
Researchers also found that religious families can learn to stand by a child while holding to their faith, drawing on the same values of mercy, compassion, and family that scripture teaches. Recognizing that a practice caused harm is not the same as deciding you failed. Many parents describe it instead as the moment repair became possible. If the law matters to you, protections like Colorado’s, at issue in Chiles v. Salazar, exist to keep these practices away from kids. Loving your child and living out your convictions were never in conflict.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “we didn’t know it had a name” mean?
Many parents are steered toward “conversion therapy” without ever hearing that term or its history. It often looks like ordinary talk or prayer, so families rarely recognize it as a practice that major health bodies have rejected.
What did the studies actually find?
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults, while family support was linked to lower depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Does recognizing the harm mean I have to give up my faith?
No. Researchers found religious families can stand by a child while keeping their beliefs, leaning on shared values of compassion, love, and family.
Is it too late to repair my relationship with my child?
Research and family stories suggest repair is possible at many points. Support shows up in everyday actions: listening, staying close, and standing up for your child.
Where can I learn more about the harm these practices cause? CT4F’s guide on the risks and harms of conversion therapy and its mental health research summary walk through the studies in plain language.
Sources and Further Reading
What the Studies Found
CT4F Resources for Families
Recent posts
We Didn't Know It Had a Name: Christian Parents on Recognizing the Harm and Finding Their Way Back to Each Other
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Quick Takeaways
Many parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” acted out of love and never knew the practice had a name or a long record of harm.
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults.
The same researchers found the reverse holds: children whose families stood by them reported far lower levels of depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Studies of people pressured to change who they are, including minors, link the experience to higher odds of suicide attempts, with the greatest risk among those pushed youngest.
Recognizing the harm does not require setting aside your faith. For many families, it is where repair begins.
Direct Answer: Many Christian parents who placed a child in “conversion therapy” did so out of love, never knowing the practice had a name or a track record. Research gives that experience language. Studies from the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University found that young adults who faced high family rejection as teens were far more likely to report depression and suicide attempts than those whose families stood by them. The same research found the reverse is also true: family support strongly protects a child’s health. Recognizing the harm is not a verdict on your faith or your intentions. It is the first step many families take toward repair. You can grieve what happened, hold to your convictions, and find your way back to your child at the same time.
The Practices Many Families Never Knew to Name
When a child first shares something new about who they are or who they are attracted to, most parents want to do right by them but are unsure how. Some are steered by a trusted counselor toward sessions that promise to help the child change. Today these “conversion therapy” practices rarely resemble the hospital techniques of decades past. They usually look like talking or prayer, offered by a licensed professional in a quiet office. That ordinariness is part of why so many families never recognized what it was, or that it had a name.
What the Studies Found About Rejection and Harm
The most cited research comes from the Family Acceptance Project, which studied young adults who are gay and, in later work, transgender. It found that teens who experienced high levels of family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, and nearly six times more likely to report high levels of depression, than peers whose families were only a little rejecting or not at all. Later research on people pressured to change how they see themselves, including minors, found similar patterns, and the risk of suicide attempts was highest among those pushed at the youngest ages. The studies point one direction: pressure to change a child tends to wound, not heal.
What the Same Research Found About Coming Back Together
The same researchers measured the other direction too. Young adults whose families had shown support scored higher on self-esteem, social support, and general health. About half as many reported suicidal thoughts in the previous six months compared with those from rejecting homes, roughly 18 percent versus 38 percent. Support did not mean parents abandoned their beliefs. It meant everyday things: listening, keeping a child close, and standing up for them.
Finding Your Way Back to Each Other
Researchers also found that religious families can learn to stand by a child while holding to their faith, drawing on the same values of mercy, compassion, and family that scripture teaches. Recognizing that a practice caused harm is not the same as deciding you failed. Many parents describe it instead as the moment repair became possible. If the law matters to you, protections like Colorado’s, at issue in Chiles v. Salazar, exist to keep these practices away from kids. Loving your child and living out your convictions were never in conflict.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does “we didn’t know it had a name” mean?
Many parents are steered toward “conversion therapy” without ever hearing that term or its history. It often looks like ordinary talk or prayer, so families rarely recognize it as a practice that major health bodies have rejected.
What did the studies actually find?
Family Acceptance Project research found teens who faced high family rejection were 8.4 times more likely to report a suicide attempt as young adults, while family support was linked to lower depression and fewer suicidal thoughts.
Does recognizing the harm mean I have to give up my faith?
No. Researchers found religious families can stand by a child while keeping their beliefs, leaning on shared values of compassion, love, and family.
Is it too late to repair my relationship with my child?
Research and family stories suggest repair is possible at many points. Support shows up in everyday actions: listening, staying close, and standing up for your child.
Where can I learn more about the harm these practices cause? CT4F’s guide on the risks and harms of conversion therapy and its mental health research summary walk through the studies in plain language.
Sources and Further Reading
What the Studies Found
CT4F Resources for Families