Quick Takeaways

• Family acceptance protects children's health and well-being, while rejection increases serious risks.

• Christian parents do not have to choose between their faith and their children.

• Faith-based resources exist specifically for Christian families navigating these questions.

• Your relationship with your child is the foundation for guiding them through anything.

• Conversion therapy is ineffective and damages family relationships.

When your child expresses gender confusion or same-sex attraction, the weight of that moment can feel overwhelming. You want to protect them. You want to honor your faith. And you want answers that actually work.

Many parents hear about programs promising to "fix" their child. But research consistently shows these approaches fail while damaging something irreplaceable: your relationship with your child.

Why Family Connection Matters More Than Any Program

Research from the Family Acceptance Project identified over 100 specific behaviors families use when responding to a child's gender identity or sexual orientation. More than half are rejection-based, including sending children to programs designed to change them. The rest are accepting: listening respectfully, expressing love, and standing up for your child.

The findings were striking. Family-accepting behaviors protected children against depression, substance abuse, and suicidal thoughts. Rejecting behaviors predicted serious health risks. Parents who attempted to change their child's orientation through programs saw attempted suicide rates double, and when combined with external interventions, those rates nearly tripled.

The good news? Parents can learn to support their children when guidance resonates with their religious values.

What Faith Actually Calls Us To Do

Susan Cottrell, a faith advocate who once struggled with her daughter's sexual orientation within a conservative community, offers surprising wisdom: "Let God be God. God will shake up, deconstruct, and reconstruct your faith."

Her trust comes from simple conviction. "God is good," she says. "You don't have to be afraid of that. Fear is not from God."

Brandon Boulware, a Christian father and son of a Methodist minister, spent years trying to change his transgender daughter. He forced certain clothes, haircuts, and activities. The result? "My child was miserable. No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."

The turning point came when his daughter asked if she could play with friends if she put on "boy clothes." Brandon realized he was teaching her that being good meant being someone else.

"The moment we allowed my daughter to be who she is," Brandon testified, "she was a different child. It was immediate. I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter."

Brandon's faith did not require forcing his daughter to be someone she was not. It required loving her as God made her. "The God I believe in does not make mistakes."

Faith-Based Resources That Support Families

Christian families are not alone. Organizations across denominations provide support while honoring faith:

• PFLAG connects families nationwide. 

• Fortunate Families serves Catholic parents 

• Believe Out Loud empowers Christians working for inclusion

• The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists supports Baptist families

• FreedHearts helps families heal from religious wounds

• The Family Acceptance Project offers faith-based training for families and congregations

The Journey Ahead

Your child needs your love, not your efforts to change them. This does not mean abandoning your values or ignoring your concerns. It means choosing connection over control, presence over programs, and relationship over results you cannot guarantee.

As Paulette Trimmer, whose daughter survived a harmful conversion therapy experience, put it: "We thought we were choosing faith. But faith would have chosen love."

The choice facing Christian parents is not between faith and their children. It is between love and fear. Between trusting the God who created your child and trusting strangers who promise, for a price, to make your child into someone else.

FAQs:

Q: What should Christian parents do when a child expresses same-sex attraction or gender confusion?

A: Research shows the most protective response is maintaining your relationship. Tell them you love them, listen respectfully, and seek accurate information. Family-accepting behaviors significantly reduce health risks while supporting well-being.

Q: Does accepting my child mean abandoning my faith?

A: No. Many parents discover that accepting their child deepens their faith. Parents can learn to support their children when guidance resonates with their cultural and religious values.

Q: How can I find support as a Christian parent?

A: Organizations like PFLAG connect families nationwide, while Fortunate Families serves Catholic families. The Family Acceptance Project provides faith-based training. Many parents find comfort connecting with others who share their faith and have walked similar paths.