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A Guided Self-Assessment for Navigating Your Child's Identity
If you're here, you're probably feeling a lot right now. Fear, confusion, maybe even grief. When your child tells you they're questioning who they are, their attractions, their sense of being male or female, it can feel like the ground just fell out beneath your feet.
This self-assessment is designed to help you better understand where you are in this moment so that you can decide with confidence where to go next. Just like on an airplane, where the safety instructions urge you to put on your oxygen mask before you help others, you need to steady yourself before you can help your child find their own stability.
You have the tools you need to emerge on the other side of this challenge even stronger, as a parent and as a family, than you were before. We want to support you in discovering the clarity, courage, and conviction to experience that for yourself.
This questionnaire isn't about judging your feelings. It's about helping you see them clearly so you can move forward with strength, wisdom, and faith.
How to use this assessment:
Answer honestly. No one will see these responses but you.
There are no "wrong" answers – only true ones.
Take your time – This isn't a race.
At the end, you'll discover your parenting approach type and find a three-step practical actions guide specific for your parenting approach type.
Take The Questionnaire:
SCORING
After all responses are recorded, add each numeric value for the total sum.
Total Score Range and Parenting Approach Profile
0-45 = Paralyzed Pilgrim (Grief-Stricken Seeker)
46-70 = Wounded Warrior (Emotionally Overwhelmed Fighter)
71-90 = Seeking Heart (Faith-Seeking Stabilizer)
91-110 = Bridge Builder (Compassionate Realist)
111 -130 = Steadfast Guardian (Grounded Protector)
Parenting Approach Profiles
1. The Steadfast Guardian (Grounded Protector)
You scored high on faith conviction and concern about outside influences. You’re anchored in your values and want to protect your child from harm.
Strength: Deep roots in faith and values—an unshakable foundation.
Challenge: Protection can slip into control.
Three-Step Action Guide
Ground yourself in truth about what actually protects children (connection, not coercion).
Separate your child’s real safety needs from your own fears or image.
Offer one small “yes” this week: Listen to their experience without abandoning your faith.
2. The Seeking Heart (Faith-Seeking Stabilizer)
You’re caught between faith and love for your child and are searching for clarity.
Strength: Humility and openness to guidance.
Challenge: Vulnerability to those selling easy answers.
Three-Step Action Guide
List three things you know to be true about your child and let them guide you.
Audit the voices you follow. Keep those that empower, not exploit or increase anger/fear.
Act your way to clarity. Share one of the three things you know to be true about your child each day this week.
3. The Wounded Warrior (Emotionally Overwhelmed Fighter)
Your emotions are running high—fear, anger, grief, guilt. You’re fighting to fix things but feel exhausted.
Strength: Fierce love.
Challenge: Big emotions can hijack decisions.
Three-Step Action Guide
Release emotions before conversation or decisions.
Identify which feelings belong to you versus your child and ought to be shared with trusted adults, versus which emotions can be shared with your child.
Prioritize connection over correction. One act of closeness each day.
4. The Bridge Builder (Compassionate Realist)
You’re balancing faith, love, and practicality while staying close to your child.
Strength: Resilience and adaptability.
Challenge: Carrying everyone else’s emotional weight.
Three-Step Action Guide
Claim your authority. Remind yourself, you’re the parent guided by love and truth.
Build a select support circle that can handle complexity.
Document your journey to track growth and retain confidence.
5. The Paralyzed Pilgrim (Grief-Stricken Seeker)
You feel stuck or numb, avoiding the topic because it hurts too much.
Strength: Deep capacity for love.
Challenge: Avoidance and paralysis.
Three-Step Action Guide
Give yourself permission to grieve what you expected.
Take one micro-step each day: Text, read, pray, or listen.
Find a fellow pilgrim, a parent who has walked this road before.
Final Reflection
You're Not Alone
Wherever you are on this journey, know this: many parents just like you have walked this path before you. You are not alone, and there is a way through.
You have everything you need to be the parent your child needs right now. You have love. You have faith. You have wisdom. And, now, we hope we have helped you to also have clarity about where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow, and beyond.
