8 feb 2026
Conversion Therapy Survivors Speak: Why Christian Families Are Choosing Different Paths
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Linda Robertson, Joyce Calvo, Brandon Boulware, and Paulette Trimmer share how these practices destroyed relationships rather than strengthening them
Faith-based alternatives like the Family Acceptance Project reduce suicide risk by half while maintaining family unity
More than half of U.S. states ban licensed professionals from these practices on minors
Evidence-based support strengthens parent-child relationships without attempting to change who someone is attracted to
When Christian parents discover their child is same-sex attracted or questioning how they see themselves, the fear can be overwhelming. Church counselors and faith-based programs often promise solutions through conversion therapy. But families who walked this path tell a different story.
Stories That Keep Repeating
Linda Robertson lost her son Ryan in 2009 after years of conversion therapy drove him to drugs to cope with the pain. For 16 years, she has shared her family's story with Christian parents, urging them to reflect Christ's unconditional love.
"We believed the counselors who said this would help him," Linda explains. "Instead, it drove a wedge between us that we could never fully repair."
Joyce Calvo's daughter, Alana, was devoted to her faith, volunteering with the Sisters of Charity and leading retreats for the Archdiocese of Denver. At 14, Alana confided in her spiritual director about being attracted to women. That priest told her not to tell her parents and directed her to conversion therapy resources for over seven years. Alana died by suicide in 2019.
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, tried conversion therapy for his son. "I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," he said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Paulette Trimmer's son, Adam, barely survived his experience. The program taught Adam that his parents' failings caused him to be same-sex attracted, destroying their relationship. After years of healing, Paulette and Adam now educate other families about the harm these practices cause.
Why "Gentle" Methods Still Cause Harm
Today's conversion therapy advocates often claim their approaches differ from past methods. They emphasize prayer, biblical counseling, and supportive community. But the fundamental problem remains: these practices assume something about the child needs fixing.
When a licensed professional or trusted religious counselor tells a teen that who they're attracted to is wrong or shameful, it creates lasting trauma. Many programs also blame parents, suggesting that mom or dad did something wrong. This doubles the harm by creating guilt in parents and resentment in children.
Robert Cottrell, a religious leader who helps families, explains what he consistently hears: "Christian parents tell us they've never encountered a single parent with a positive view of sending their child to conversion therapy. Parents are heartbroken by two devastating outcomes: the damage to their child's life and the destruction of their relationship."
The experience often damages not only mental health but also faith itself. Children who survive these programs frequently want nothing to do with Christianity, believing God abandoned them when the therapy didn't work as promised. This spiritual harm is exactly the opposite of what Christian parents want.
The Economic Reality Behind the Promises
Families invest thousands of dollars in programs, retreats, and counseling sessions that promise results but deliver only heartbreak. Parents take out loans or borrow from relatives, believing they're investing in their child's salvation.
Licensed professionals who practice these methods often operate in states where the practice isn't regulated or work through religious organizations claiming exemption from professional standards. They profit from parental fear and faith while providing no accountability for outcomes.
What Actually Helps Families?
The contrast between conversion therapy and genuine support couldn't be starker. Research consistently shows that what strengthens families is maintaining the parent-child bond while navigating difficult questions together.
The Family Acceptance Project offers approaches designed specifically for faith-focused families. Their research demonstrates that accepting behaviors from parents reduces suicide risk and depression by half while significantly increasing self-esteem and social support.
Faith-based organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love provide resources created by Christian parents who have walked this path. These alternatives understand both the theological questions and the practical challenges families face.
Supportive pastoral counseling focuses on strengthening family relationships, not attempting to change who someone is attracted to. Good therapists help teens cope with difficult emotions and build resilience without trying to alter their core identity.
Legal Protections and Why They Matter
More than half of U.S. states now prohibit licensed professionals from practicing conversion therapy on minors. These laws exist because legislators have heard from families like Linda's, Joyce's, Brandon's, and Paulette's.
However, even in states with bans, unlicensed providers may still operate. Parents must remain vigilant and ask direct questions: Will this provider attempt to change who my child is attracted to?
A Path Forward
As people of faith, we're called to protect children and strengthen families. When we examine the fruits of conversion therapy, what do we find? Broken individuals, fractured families, and damaged faith. Even Exodus International, once the leading organization in this field, recognized the harm they inflicted and shut down.
The path forward starts with listening to your child, maintaining your relationship with them, and seeking support from organizations that prioritize family unity. It means trusting that God's love is big enough to hold both your faith and your child exactly as they are.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is conversion therapy today?
Conversion therapy refers to any practice that attempts to change who someone is attracted to or how they see themselves. Today's versions often present as pastoral counseling or faith-based therapy, but the goal remains changing the person rather than supporting them. The psychological harm is consistently documented across all approaches.
Are there real alternatives for Christian parents?
Yes. The Family Acceptance Project provides research-based approaches for faith-focused families. Organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love offer resources created by Christian parents. These alternatives focus on strengthening family bonds rather than attempting to change children.
Why do so many parents regret choosing conversion therapy?
Parents consistently report two devastating outcomes: severe damage to their child's mental health including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and destruction of their parent-child relationship that often never fully heals.
Will accepting my child mean abandoning my faith?
No. Thousands of Christian families maintain their faith while fully supporting their children. Research shows that accepting parental behaviors significantly reduce suicide risk and depression while increasing wellbeing.
What should I look for in a therapist or counselor?Ask directly whether the provider will attempt to change who your child is attracted to. Reputable therapists focus on helping teens develop coping skills and strengthen family relationships without trying to alter core identity.
Publicaciones recientes
8 feb 2026
8 feb 2026
Conversion Therapy Survivors Speak: Why Christian Families Are Choosing Different Paths
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Linda Robertson, Joyce Calvo, Brandon Boulware, and Paulette Trimmer share how these practices destroyed relationships rather than strengthening them
Faith-based alternatives like the Family Acceptance Project reduce suicide risk by half while maintaining family unity
More than half of U.S. states ban licensed professionals from these practices on minors
Evidence-based support strengthens parent-child relationships without attempting to change who someone is attracted to
When Christian parents discover their child is same-sex attracted or questioning how they see themselves, the fear can be overwhelming. Church counselors and faith-based programs often promise solutions through conversion therapy. But families who walked this path tell a different story.
Stories That Keep Repeating
Linda Robertson lost her son Ryan in 2009 after years of conversion therapy drove him to drugs to cope with the pain. For 16 years, she has shared her family's story with Christian parents, urging them to reflect Christ's unconditional love.
"We believed the counselors who said this would help him," Linda explains. "Instead, it drove a wedge between us that we could never fully repair."
Joyce Calvo's daughter, Alana, was devoted to her faith, volunteering with the Sisters of Charity and leading retreats for the Archdiocese of Denver. At 14, Alana confided in her spiritual director about being attracted to women. That priest told her not to tell her parents and directed her to conversion therapy resources for over seven years. Alana died by suicide in 2019.
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, tried conversion therapy for his son. "I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," he said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Paulette Trimmer's son, Adam, barely survived his experience. The program taught Adam that his parents' failings caused him to be same-sex attracted, destroying their relationship. After years of healing, Paulette and Adam now educate other families about the harm these practices cause.
Why "Gentle" Methods Still Cause Harm
Today's conversion therapy advocates often claim their approaches differ from past methods. They emphasize prayer, biblical counseling, and supportive community. But the fundamental problem remains: these practices assume something about the child needs fixing.
When a licensed professional or trusted religious counselor tells a teen that who they're attracted to is wrong or shameful, it creates lasting trauma. Many programs also blame parents, suggesting that mom or dad did something wrong. This doubles the harm by creating guilt in parents and resentment in children.
Robert Cottrell, a religious leader who helps families, explains what he consistently hears: "Christian parents tell us they've never encountered a single parent with a positive view of sending their child to conversion therapy. Parents are heartbroken by two devastating outcomes: the damage to their child's life and the destruction of their relationship."
The experience often damages not only mental health but also faith itself. Children who survive these programs frequently want nothing to do with Christianity, believing God abandoned them when the therapy didn't work as promised. This spiritual harm is exactly the opposite of what Christian parents want.
The Economic Reality Behind the Promises
Families invest thousands of dollars in programs, retreats, and counseling sessions that promise results but deliver only heartbreak. Parents take out loans or borrow from relatives, believing they're investing in their child's salvation.
Licensed professionals who practice these methods often operate in states where the practice isn't regulated or work through religious organizations claiming exemption from professional standards. They profit from parental fear and faith while providing no accountability for outcomes.
What Actually Helps Families?
The contrast between conversion therapy and genuine support couldn't be starker. Research consistently shows that what strengthens families is maintaining the parent-child bond while navigating difficult questions together.
The Family Acceptance Project offers approaches designed specifically for faith-focused families. Their research demonstrates that accepting behaviors from parents reduces suicide risk and depression by half while significantly increasing self-esteem and social support.
Faith-based organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love provide resources created by Christian parents who have walked this path. These alternatives understand both the theological questions and the practical challenges families face.
Supportive pastoral counseling focuses on strengthening family relationships, not attempting to change who someone is attracted to. Good therapists help teens cope with difficult emotions and build resilience without trying to alter their core identity.
Legal Protections and Why They Matter
More than half of U.S. states now prohibit licensed professionals from practicing conversion therapy on minors. These laws exist because legislators have heard from families like Linda's, Joyce's, Brandon's, and Paulette's.
However, even in states with bans, unlicensed providers may still operate. Parents must remain vigilant and ask direct questions: Will this provider attempt to change who my child is attracted to?
A Path Forward
As people of faith, we're called to protect children and strengthen families. When we examine the fruits of conversion therapy, what do we find? Broken individuals, fractured families, and damaged faith. Even Exodus International, once the leading organization in this field, recognized the harm they inflicted and shut down.
The path forward starts with listening to your child, maintaining your relationship with them, and seeking support from organizations that prioritize family unity. It means trusting that God's love is big enough to hold both your faith and your child exactly as they are.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is conversion therapy today?
Conversion therapy refers to any practice that attempts to change who someone is attracted to or how they see themselves. Today's versions often present as pastoral counseling or faith-based therapy, but the goal remains changing the person rather than supporting them. The psychological harm is consistently documented across all approaches.
Are there real alternatives for Christian parents?
Yes. The Family Acceptance Project provides research-based approaches for faith-focused families. Organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love offer resources created by Christian parents. These alternatives focus on strengthening family bonds rather than attempting to change children.
Why do so many parents regret choosing conversion therapy?
Parents consistently report two devastating outcomes: severe damage to their child's mental health including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and destruction of their parent-child relationship that often never fully heals.
Will accepting my child mean abandoning my faith?
No. Thousands of Christian families maintain their faith while fully supporting their children. Research shows that accepting parental behaviors significantly reduce suicide risk and depression while increasing wellbeing.
What should I look for in a therapist or counselor?Ask directly whether the provider will attempt to change who your child is attracted to. Reputable therapists focus on helping teens develop coping skills and strengthen family relationships without trying to alter core identity.
Publicaciones recientes
8 feb 2026
8 feb 2026
Conversion Therapy Survivors Speak: Why Christian Families Are Choosing Different Paths
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued conversion therapy report profound regret as children experienced depression, anxiety, and severed family bonds
Linda Robertson, Joyce Calvo, Brandon Boulware, and Paulette Trimmer share how these practices destroyed relationships rather than strengthening them
Faith-based alternatives like the Family Acceptance Project reduce suicide risk by half while maintaining family unity
More than half of U.S. states ban licensed professionals from these practices on minors
Evidence-based support strengthens parent-child relationships without attempting to change who someone is attracted to
When Christian parents discover their child is same-sex attracted or questioning how they see themselves, the fear can be overwhelming. Church counselors and faith-based programs often promise solutions through conversion therapy. But families who walked this path tell a different story.
Stories That Keep Repeating
Linda Robertson lost her son Ryan in 2009 after years of conversion therapy drove him to drugs to cope with the pain. For 16 years, she has shared her family's story with Christian parents, urging them to reflect Christ's unconditional love.
"We believed the counselors who said this would help him," Linda explains. "Instead, it drove a wedge between us that we could never fully repair."
Joyce Calvo's daughter, Alana, was devoted to her faith, volunteering with the Sisters of Charity and leading retreats for the Archdiocese of Denver. At 14, Alana confided in her spiritual director about being attracted to women. That priest told her not to tell her parents and directed her to conversion therapy resources for over seven years. Alana died by suicide in 2019.
Brandon Boulware, a Christian father from Missouri, tried conversion therapy for his son. "I spent years trying to change my child instead of loving him as he was," he said. "When I finally let go of my fear and let him be who God made him to be, I got my son back."
Paulette Trimmer's son, Adam, barely survived his experience. The program taught Adam that his parents' failings caused him to be same-sex attracted, destroying their relationship. After years of healing, Paulette and Adam now educate other families about the harm these practices cause.
Why "Gentle" Methods Still Cause Harm
Today's conversion therapy advocates often claim their approaches differ from past methods. They emphasize prayer, biblical counseling, and supportive community. But the fundamental problem remains: these practices assume something about the child needs fixing.
When a licensed professional or trusted religious counselor tells a teen that who they're attracted to is wrong or shameful, it creates lasting trauma. Many programs also blame parents, suggesting that mom or dad did something wrong. This doubles the harm by creating guilt in parents and resentment in children.
Robert Cottrell, a religious leader who helps families, explains what he consistently hears: "Christian parents tell us they've never encountered a single parent with a positive view of sending their child to conversion therapy. Parents are heartbroken by two devastating outcomes: the damage to their child's life and the destruction of their relationship."
The experience often damages not only mental health but also faith itself. Children who survive these programs frequently want nothing to do with Christianity, believing God abandoned them when the therapy didn't work as promised. This spiritual harm is exactly the opposite of what Christian parents want.
The Economic Reality Behind the Promises
Families invest thousands of dollars in programs, retreats, and counseling sessions that promise results but deliver only heartbreak. Parents take out loans or borrow from relatives, believing they're investing in their child's salvation.
Licensed professionals who practice these methods often operate in states where the practice isn't regulated or work through religious organizations claiming exemption from professional standards. They profit from parental fear and faith while providing no accountability for outcomes.
What Actually Helps Families?
The contrast between conversion therapy and genuine support couldn't be starker. Research consistently shows that what strengthens families is maintaining the parent-child bond while navigating difficult questions together.
The Family Acceptance Project offers approaches designed specifically for faith-focused families. Their research demonstrates that accepting behaviors from parents reduces suicide risk and depression by half while significantly increasing self-esteem and social support.
Faith-based organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love provide resources created by Christian parents who have walked this path. These alternatives understand both the theological questions and the practical challenges families face.
Supportive pastoral counseling focuses on strengthening family relationships, not attempting to change who someone is attracted to. Good therapists help teens cope with difficult emotions and build resilience without trying to alter their core identity.
Legal Protections and Why They Matter
More than half of U.S. states now prohibit licensed professionals from practicing conversion therapy on minors. These laws exist because legislators have heard from families like Linda's, Joyce's, Brandon's, and Paulette's.
However, even in states with bans, unlicensed providers may still operate. Parents must remain vigilant and ask direct questions: Will this provider attempt to change who my child is attracted to?
A Path Forward
As people of faith, we're called to protect children and strengthen families. When we examine the fruits of conversion therapy, what do we find? Broken individuals, fractured families, and damaged faith. Even Exodus International, once the leading organization in this field, recognized the harm they inflicted and shut down.
The path forward starts with listening to your child, maintaining your relationship with them, and seeking support from organizations that prioritize family unity. It means trusting that God's love is big enough to hold both your faith and your child exactly as they are.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly is conversion therapy today?
Conversion therapy refers to any practice that attempts to change who someone is attracted to or how they see themselves. Today's versions often present as pastoral counseling or faith-based therapy, but the goal remains changing the person rather than supporting them. The psychological harm is consistently documented across all approaches.
Are there real alternatives for Christian parents?
Yes. The Family Acceptance Project provides research-based approaches for faith-focused families. Organizations like Fortunate Families, FreedHearts, and Lead with Love offer resources created by Christian parents. These alternatives focus on strengthening family bonds rather than attempting to change children.
Why do so many parents regret choosing conversion therapy?
Parents consistently report two devastating outcomes: severe damage to their child's mental health including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and destruction of their parent-child relationship that often never fully heals.
Will accepting my child mean abandoning my faith?
No. Thousands of Christian families maintain their faith while fully supporting their children. Research shows that accepting parental behaviors significantly reduce suicide risk and depression while increasing wellbeing.
What should I look for in a therapist or counselor?Ask directly whether the provider will attempt to change who your child is attracted to. Reputable therapists focus on helping teens develop coping skills and strengthen family relationships without trying to alter core identity.