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"We Thought We Were Protecting Him": Christian Parents on Rebuilding Their Family After Conversion Therapy
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" for their children consistently report two outcomes: lasting harm to their child's well-being and severe damage to their family bond.
These parents were not negligent. They were scared, and they trusted people who made false promises.
No verified research supports the claim that same-sex attraction or how a child sees themselves can be changed through therapeutic intervention.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
They came from different states, different denominations, different walks of life. But when Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware look back at the years they spent trying to change who their child was, they describe the same thing: fear, false promises, and a family nearly destroyed.
These are some of the most sobering conversion therapy stories on record. They are not cautionary tales about bad parents. They are accounts of faithful parents who were told a lie.
"I Thought I Was Protecting Ryan"
Linda Robertson is a conservative evangelical mother from Redmond, Washington. When her teenage son Ryan came out as gay, she enrolled him in programs designed to change his same-sex attraction, following advice from trusted church leaders.
For six years, Ryan did everything asked of him. He prayed, memorized scripture, and attended conferences. Nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. The practitioners told Linda to pull back from her son, suggesting her closeness had contributed to his attraction. She withdrew at the moment he needed her most.
On July 16, 2009, Ryan died what Linda calls "a death of despair."
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," she has said. "It taught Ryan he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me. Christian parents like me aren't bad parents. They're scared parents."
"It All But Killed It"
Paulette Trimmer is a Pentecostal mother whose son Adam came to her desperate after a suicide attempt. A church youth leader offered what seemed like a lifeline: a program called "Healing from Homosexuality." The programs taught Adam that his parents' failings had caused him to be gay. His relationship with Paulette nearly collapsed.
When asked what those programs did to her relationship with Adam, her answer was short: "It killed it. It all but killed it."
Paulette and Adam have since rebuilt their relationship and now speak publicly to warn other families. She has never left her church. "I love God, I am not going to change that," she says. "And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."
"I Had a Child Who Did Not Smile"
Brandon Boulware is a Christian business lawyer from Missouri and the son of a Methodist minister. For years, he required his child, who sees herself as a girl, to wear boy clothes and play on boys' teams.
"My child was miserable," Brandon testified before Missouri lawmakers in 2021. "No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."
The turning point came when his daughter asked if she could go outside to play, but only after changing into boy clothes. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else," Brandon said. "The one thing we cannot do as parents is silence our child's spirit." When he and his wife stopped doing that, the change was immediate. "I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter."
What These Families Want You to Know
Understanding what happens to family relationships after conversion therapy is what compelled each of these parents to go public. A program that drives a wedge between parent and child is not a solution. It is a harm dressed up as one.
Joyce Calvo, a Colorado mother whose devout daughter Alana died by suicide in 2019 after pursuing "conversion therapy" within the Archdiocese of Denver, now speaks publicly to urge parents to protect their children from the same promises.
As Linda Robertson says: "I can't bring Ryan back. But I can tell other parents: don't make the choice I made."
Frequently Asked Questions
What do Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" say happened to their families?
Parents like Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware describe two consistent harms: damage to their child's well-being and rupture of the parent-child relationship. Many report the programs blaming parents for their child's same-sex attraction. The promised outcomes never came.
Does "conversion therapy" actually work?
No verified research supports the claim that "conversion therapy" can change a person's same-sex attraction or how they see themselves. Every major professional health organization has concluded these practices are ineffective and carry documented risk of harm, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior.
Can a Christian parent love their gay or transgender child while staying true to their beliefs?
Yes. Many parents ask whether they can be faithful to their religion and still support a trans child. Paulette Trimmer and Brandon Boulware both found that accepting their child did not require setting aside their faith.
What do parents who pursued "conversion therapy" most commonly regret?
Most say they wish they had trusted their own instincts rather than leaders who offered false certainty.
Where can Christian parents find faith-aligned support that does not involve "conversion therapy"?
FreedHearts and Fortunate Families offer support designed for faith-focused families. Knowing the differences between faith-based therapy vs conversion therapy can help you find resources that strengthen your family rather than divide it.
Publicaciones recientes
"We Thought We Were Protecting Him": Christian Parents on Rebuilding Their Family After Conversion Therapy
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" for their children consistently report two outcomes: lasting harm to their child's well-being and severe damage to their family bond.
These parents were not negligent. They were scared, and they trusted people who made false promises.
No verified research supports the claim that same-sex attraction or how a child sees themselves can be changed through therapeutic intervention.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
They came from different states, different denominations, different walks of life. But when Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware look back at the years they spent trying to change who their child was, they describe the same thing: fear, false promises, and a family nearly destroyed.
These are some of the most sobering conversion therapy stories on record. They are not cautionary tales about bad parents. They are accounts of faithful parents who were told a lie.
"I Thought I Was Protecting Ryan"
Linda Robertson is a conservative evangelical mother from Redmond, Washington. When her teenage son Ryan came out as gay, she enrolled him in programs designed to change his same-sex attraction, following advice from trusted church leaders.
For six years, Ryan did everything asked of him. He prayed, memorized scripture, and attended conferences. Nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. The practitioners told Linda to pull back from her son, suggesting her closeness had contributed to his attraction. She withdrew at the moment he needed her most.
On July 16, 2009, Ryan died what Linda calls "a death of despair."
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," she has said. "It taught Ryan he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me. Christian parents like me aren't bad parents. They're scared parents."
"It All But Killed It"
Paulette Trimmer is a Pentecostal mother whose son Adam came to her desperate after a suicide attempt. A church youth leader offered what seemed like a lifeline: a program called "Healing from Homosexuality." The programs taught Adam that his parents' failings had caused him to be gay. His relationship with Paulette nearly collapsed.
When asked what those programs did to her relationship with Adam, her answer was short: "It killed it. It all but killed it."
Paulette and Adam have since rebuilt their relationship and now speak publicly to warn other families. She has never left her church. "I love God, I am not going to change that," she says. "And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."
"I Had a Child Who Did Not Smile"
Brandon Boulware is a Christian business lawyer from Missouri and the son of a Methodist minister. For years, he required his child, who sees herself as a girl, to wear boy clothes and play on boys' teams.
"My child was miserable," Brandon testified before Missouri lawmakers in 2021. "No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."
The turning point came when his daughter asked if she could go outside to play, but only after changing into boy clothes. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else," Brandon said. "The one thing we cannot do as parents is silence our child's spirit." When he and his wife stopped doing that, the change was immediate. "I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter."
What These Families Want You to Know
Understanding what happens to family relationships after conversion therapy is what compelled each of these parents to go public. A program that drives a wedge between parent and child is not a solution. It is a harm dressed up as one.
Joyce Calvo, a Colorado mother whose devout daughter Alana died by suicide in 2019 after pursuing "conversion therapy" within the Archdiocese of Denver, now speaks publicly to urge parents to protect their children from the same promises.
As Linda Robertson says: "I can't bring Ryan back. But I can tell other parents: don't make the choice I made."
Frequently Asked Questions
What do Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" say happened to their families?
Parents like Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware describe two consistent harms: damage to their child's well-being and rupture of the parent-child relationship. Many report the programs blaming parents for their child's same-sex attraction. The promised outcomes never came.
Does "conversion therapy" actually work?
No verified research supports the claim that "conversion therapy" can change a person's same-sex attraction or how they see themselves. Every major professional health organization has concluded these practices are ineffective and carry documented risk of harm, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior.
Can a Christian parent love their gay or transgender child while staying true to their beliefs?
Yes. Many parents ask whether they can be faithful to their religion and still support a trans child. Paulette Trimmer and Brandon Boulware both found that accepting their child did not require setting aside their faith.
What do parents who pursued "conversion therapy" most commonly regret?
Most say they wish they had trusted their own instincts rather than leaders who offered false certainty.
Where can Christian parents find faith-aligned support that does not involve "conversion therapy"?
FreedHearts and Fortunate Families offer support designed for faith-focused families. Knowing the differences between faith-based therapy vs conversion therapy can help you find resources that strengthen your family rather than divide it.
Publicaciones recientes
"We Thought We Were Protecting Him": Christian Parents on Rebuilding Their Family After Conversion Therapy
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
Quick Takeaways
Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" for their children consistently report two outcomes: lasting harm to their child's well-being and severe damage to their family bond.
These parents were not negligent. They were scared, and they trusted people who made false promises.
No verified research supports the claim that same-sex attraction or how a child sees themselves can be changed through therapeutic intervention.
A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Faithful parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their children.
They came from different states, different denominations, different walks of life. But when Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware look back at the years they spent trying to change who their child was, they describe the same thing: fear, false promises, and a family nearly destroyed.
These are some of the most sobering conversion therapy stories on record. They are not cautionary tales about bad parents. They are accounts of faithful parents who were told a lie.
"I Thought I Was Protecting Ryan"
Linda Robertson is a conservative evangelical mother from Redmond, Washington. When her teenage son Ryan came out as gay, she enrolled him in programs designed to change his same-sex attraction, following advice from trusted church leaders.
For six years, Ryan did everything asked of him. He prayed, memorized scripture, and attended conferences. Nothing changed except that he learned to hate himself. The practitioners told Linda to pull back from her son, suggesting her closeness had contributed to his attraction. She withdrew at the moment he needed her most.
On July 16, 2009, Ryan died what Linda calls "a death of despair."
"Conversion therapy did nothing to change Ryan's sexuality," she has said. "It taught Ryan he couldn't be accepted or loved by God as he was, and it destroyed his bond with me. Christian parents like me aren't bad parents. They're scared parents."
"It All But Killed It"
Paulette Trimmer is a Pentecostal mother whose son Adam came to her desperate after a suicide attempt. A church youth leader offered what seemed like a lifeline: a program called "Healing from Homosexuality." The programs taught Adam that his parents' failings had caused him to be gay. His relationship with Paulette nearly collapsed.
When asked what those programs did to her relationship with Adam, her answer was short: "It killed it. It all but killed it."
Paulette and Adam have since rebuilt their relationship and now speak publicly to warn other families. She has never left her church. "I love God, I am not going to change that," she says. "And I love my son, and I'm not going to change that."
"I Had a Child Who Did Not Smile"
Brandon Boulware is a Christian business lawyer from Missouri and the son of a Methodist minister. For years, he required his child, who sees herself as a girl, to wear boy clothes and play on boys' teams.
"My child was miserable," Brandon testified before Missouri lawmakers in 2021. "No confidence, no friends, no laughter. I had a child who did not smile."
The turning point came when his daughter asked if she could go outside to play, but only after changing into boy clothes. "My daughter was equating being good with being someone else," Brandon said. "The one thing we cannot do as parents is silence our child's spirit." When he and his wife stopped doing that, the change was immediate. "I now have a confident, smiling, happy daughter."
What These Families Want You to Know
Understanding what happens to family relationships after conversion therapy is what compelled each of these parents to go public. A program that drives a wedge between parent and child is not a solution. It is a harm dressed up as one.
Joyce Calvo, a Colorado mother whose devout daughter Alana died by suicide in 2019 after pursuing "conversion therapy" within the Archdiocese of Denver, now speaks publicly to urge parents to protect their children from the same promises.
As Linda Robertson says: "I can't bring Ryan back. But I can tell other parents: don't make the choice I made."
Frequently Asked Questions
What do Christian parents who pursued "conversion therapy" say happened to their families?
Parents like Linda Robertson, Paulette Trimmer, and Brandon Boulware describe two consistent harms: damage to their child's well-being and rupture of the parent-child relationship. Many report the programs blaming parents for their child's same-sex attraction. The promised outcomes never came.
Does "conversion therapy" actually work?
No verified research supports the claim that "conversion therapy" can change a person's same-sex attraction or how they see themselves. Every major professional health organization has concluded these practices are ineffective and carry documented risk of harm, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior.
Can a Christian parent love their gay or transgender child while staying true to their beliefs?
Yes. Many parents ask whether they can be faithful to their religion and still support a trans child. Paulette Trimmer and Brandon Boulware both found that accepting their child did not require setting aside their faith.
What do parents who pursued "conversion therapy" most commonly regret?
Most say they wish they had trusted their own instincts rather than leaders who offered false certainty.
Where can Christian parents find faith-aligned support that does not involve "conversion therapy"?
FreedHearts and Fortunate Families offer support designed for faith-focused families. Knowing the differences between faith-based therapy vs conversion therapy can help you find resources that strengthen your family rather than divide it.