Christian parents whose child has disclosed same-sex attraction or gender confusion often feel caught between two painful options: abandon their faith or abandon their child. Neither is necessary. Evidence-based alternatives to conversion therapy offer a third path that keeps families together and honors the values that matter most.

Quick Takeaways

• Conversion therapy has been rejected by every major medical organization as ineffective and harmful.

• Research-backed alternatives exist that help families stay connected while honoring their faith.

• The Family Acceptance Project has identified more than 50 family behaviors that protect trans youth from depression and suicide.

• Affirming pastoral counseling supports both your child's well-being and your family's faith journey.

• Parents do not have to choose between their beliefs and their child.

Why Conversion Therapy Is Not the Answer

Conversion therapy, sometimes called reparative therapy or sexual orientation change efforts, promises to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. Every major medical organization in the United States has rejected it.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, American Medical Association, American Psychological Association, and American Psychiatric Association have all concluded that conversion therapy does not work and causes real harm. Research shows that young people exposed to these practices experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide attempts.

In 2015, a New Jersey jury unanimously found that a conversion therapy organization had committed consumer fraud. The court declared for the first time in American history that homosexuality was not a mental disease or disorder as a matter of law.

The bottom line: conversion therapy is a scam. 

Anyone who claims they can change your child's sexual orientation or gender identity is making a promise they cannot keep.

What Actually Works: The Family Acceptance Project

The Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University has identified more than 50 specific family behaviors that protect children against serious health risks, including depression, suicide, and substance abuse.

The findings are striking. Young people who struggle with their sexual and gender identities are three times less likely to attempt suicide if they belong to accepting families, compared to those whose families are rejecting. They report better overall health, higher self-esteem, and stronger family relationships.

This approach works specifically with religious and socially conservative families. It aligns guidance with underlying values like compassion, mercy, love, and respect. Families do not have to abandon their beliefs to support their children.

Practical Steps for Christian Parents

Research shows that small changes make a meaningful difference. Helpful behaviors include telling your child you love them, talking respectfully about their identity even when you feel uncomfortable, showing affection when they share something personal, standing up for your child when others mistreat them, and believing your child can be a happy adult.

These actions do not require you to change your theology. They require you to prioritize relationships over rejection.

Susan Cottrell, a Christian author who has navigated this journey with her own family, offers guidance: "Let God be God. God will shake up, deconstruct, and reconstruct your faith." Her trust in that process is grounded in a core belief: "God is good. You don't have to be afraid of that. Fear is not from God."

Finding the Right Support

Affirming that pastoral counseling and psychotherapy are available from providers who support both your faith and your child. Unlike conversion therapy, affirming approaches focus on helping your whole family navigate this journey together.

Look for counselors who accept different sexual and gender identities as part of normal human experience, work to strengthen family relationships, and help reduce rejection from family and peers. Organizations like PFLAG, the Family Acceptance Project, and FreedHearts offer resources specifically designed for Christian families.

Your Family Comes First

A solution that divides families is not a solution at all. Conversion therapy too often leaves young people feeling betrayed by the parents who were supposed to protect them.

You can be a faithful Christian and a supportive parent. The most faithful thing you may do is love your child exactly as God made them.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What are the alternatives to conversion therapy for Christian families?

A: Evidence-based alternatives include family support approaches from the Family Acceptance Project, affirming pastoral counseling, and family therapy focused on strengthening relationships rather than changing sexual orientation or gender identity.

Q: Does the Family Acceptance Project work with religious families?

A: Yes. They specifically developed resources for religiously conservative families, aligning research findings with values like compassion, mercy, love, and respect.

Q: What family behaviors help protect transgender youth?

A: Research has identified more than 50 helpful behaviors, including expressing love, talking respectfully about identity, showing affection, standing up against mistreatment, and believing your child can have a good life.

Q: Is affirming counseling different from conversion therapy?

A: Yes. Conversion therapy attempts to change sexual orientation or gender identity. Affirming counseling accepts identities, helps young people address stigma, and strengthens family relationships.

Q: Can I support my transgender child without changing my beliefs?

A: Yes. Family acceptance requires prioritizing your relationship with your child, not changing your theology. Specific supportive behaviors protect children regardless of parents' personal beliefs.