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What a Safe Therapist Says When You Ask About Conversion Therapy
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
Ask a safe therapist whether they will try to change who your child is attracted to or how your child sees themselves, and they will say no, plainly and without a lecture. They tell you why: the research does not support it, and every major medical association opposes it. Then they tell you what they will work on instead, such as anxiety, depression, or conflict at home, and how you will stay part of the process. A safe answer never includes a success rate or a promise about who your child will become.
Quick Takeaways
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
A safe therapist says no in a sentence, then moves quickly to the real work.
A trustworthy professional keeps parents involved and respects your faith.
Pause at evasive replies, talk of a "root cause," or any promise of results.
Ask About the Goal, Not the Label
"Do you do conversion therapy?" is a fair question, but it invites a fair-sounding answer. A provider can honestly deny the label while pursuing the same goal, which is why "we don't do conversion therapy" tells you less than it seems.
Knowing what "conversion therapy" is helps you name the goal instead: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask, "What will you actually work on with my child?"
What a Safe Answer Sounds Like
A Plain No
Something like: "No. That isn't something I do with any child." Licensed therapists can and do decline these requests, because the practice runs against the ethics of their profession. A safe therapist does not get defensive.
A Reason Grounded in Evidence
They can explain that no in a sentence or two. In 2009, an American Psychological Association task force reviewed 83 studies and found insufficient evidence that change efforts work. Every major medical association has reached the same conclusion.
A Clear Picture of the Real Work
Good therapists name specific struggles: anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, slipping grades, arguments at the dinner table. Their goal is a child who is doing better and a family that talks more, not a child who has become someone else.
A Place for You as the Parent
In 2014, three physicians wrote in the AMA Journal of Ethics about how a doctor should respond when Christian parents ask their pediatrician to back sending their 12-year-old son to a "conversion therapy" camp. Their guidance: speak privately with the boy to build trust, preserve a trusting relationship with his parents, and point the family toward supportive resources, including faith communities. Their model reply centers on the boy's "health and safety and his feeling supported by the important people in his life."
A safe therapist also explains what stays private and what you will always be told, especially about safety.
Respect for Your Faith
You should not have to choose between your convictions and your child's care. A good therapist asks how faith shapes your home and works with it. Many parents have found ways of loving God and loving their child at the same time.
Answers That Should Give You Pause
A long pause, a change of subject, or "it depends on what the family wants."
An offer to find the "root cause" or "wound" behind how your child sees themselves.
"It's not 'conversion therapy,' it's exploratory." Ask what is being explored, and toward what end.
Any success rate or guarantee. Anyone promising a clinical result here is selling something no one can deliver.
The stakes are real. A Family Acceptance Project study found high levels of depression rose from 16 percent among young adults who faced no change efforts to 33 percent when parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. That is why "conversion therapy" is harmful: it turns the adults a child trusts most into sources of pressure.
You know your child better than any clinic. Check whether "conversion therapy" is legal where you live. A solution that divides your family is not a solution at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I ask a therapist about conversion therapy?
Ask about the goal: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask what they will actually work on.
What does a safe therapist say when asked about conversion therapy?
A clear no, a short reason grounded in research, a description of the real work, such as anxiety or family conflict, and how parents stay involved.
Can a therapist refuse to do conversion therapy?
Yes. Licensed therapists can and do decline, and every major medical association opposes the practice.
Is "exploratory therapy" different from conversion therapy?
Often it is the same goal under a gentler name. Ask what is being explored and whether the therapist has an outcome in mind for your child.
Will a safe therapist respect our Christian faith?
A good one will work with your faith. What they will not do is promise to change your child to fit an outcome decided in advance.
Sources and Further Reading
Professional Guidance
Research on Family Harm
CT4F Resources for Families
Publicaciones recientes
What a Safe Therapist Says When You Ask About Conversion Therapy
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
Ask a safe therapist whether they will try to change who your child is attracted to or how your child sees themselves, and they will say no, plainly and without a lecture. They tell you why: the research does not support it, and every major medical association opposes it. Then they tell you what they will work on instead, such as anxiety, depression, or conflict at home, and how you will stay part of the process. A safe answer never includes a success rate or a promise about who your child will become.
Quick Takeaways
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
A safe therapist says no in a sentence, then moves quickly to the real work.
A trustworthy professional keeps parents involved and respects your faith.
Pause at evasive replies, talk of a "root cause," or any promise of results.
Ask About the Goal, Not the Label
"Do you do conversion therapy?" is a fair question, but it invites a fair-sounding answer. A provider can honestly deny the label while pursuing the same goal, which is why "we don't do conversion therapy" tells you less than it seems.
Knowing what "conversion therapy" is helps you name the goal instead: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask, "What will you actually work on with my child?"
What a Safe Answer Sounds Like
A Plain No
Something like: "No. That isn't something I do with any child." Licensed therapists can and do decline these requests, because the practice runs against the ethics of their profession. A safe therapist does not get defensive.
A Reason Grounded in Evidence
They can explain that no in a sentence or two. In 2009, an American Psychological Association task force reviewed 83 studies and found insufficient evidence that change efforts work. Every major medical association has reached the same conclusion.
A Clear Picture of the Real Work
Good therapists name specific struggles: anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, slipping grades, arguments at the dinner table. Their goal is a child who is doing better and a family that talks more, not a child who has become someone else.
A Place for You as the Parent
In 2014, three physicians wrote in the AMA Journal of Ethics about how a doctor should respond when Christian parents ask their pediatrician to back sending their 12-year-old son to a "conversion therapy" camp. Their guidance: speak privately with the boy to build trust, preserve a trusting relationship with his parents, and point the family toward supportive resources, including faith communities. Their model reply centers on the boy's "health and safety and his feeling supported by the important people in his life."
A safe therapist also explains what stays private and what you will always be told, especially about safety.
Respect for Your Faith
You should not have to choose between your convictions and your child's care. A good therapist asks how faith shapes your home and works with it. Many parents have found ways of loving God and loving their child at the same time.
Answers That Should Give You Pause
A long pause, a change of subject, or "it depends on what the family wants."
An offer to find the "root cause" or "wound" behind how your child sees themselves.
"It's not 'conversion therapy,' it's exploratory." Ask what is being explored, and toward what end.
Any success rate or guarantee. Anyone promising a clinical result here is selling something no one can deliver.
The stakes are real. A Family Acceptance Project study found high levels of depression rose from 16 percent among young adults who faced no change efforts to 33 percent when parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. That is why "conversion therapy" is harmful: it turns the adults a child trusts most into sources of pressure.
You know your child better than any clinic. Check whether "conversion therapy" is legal where you live. A solution that divides your family is not a solution at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I ask a therapist about conversion therapy?
Ask about the goal: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask what they will actually work on.
What does a safe therapist say when asked about conversion therapy?
A clear no, a short reason grounded in research, a description of the real work, such as anxiety or family conflict, and how parents stay involved.
Can a therapist refuse to do conversion therapy?
Yes. Licensed therapists can and do decline, and every major medical association opposes the practice.
Is "exploratory therapy" different from conversion therapy?
Often it is the same goal under a gentler name. Ask what is being explored and whether the therapist has an outcome in mind for your child.
Will a safe therapist respect our Christian faith?
A good one will work with your faith. What they will not do is promise to change your child to fit an outcome decided in advance.
Sources and Further Reading
Professional Guidance
Research on Family Harm
CT4F Resources for Families
Publicaciones recientes
What a Safe Therapist Says When You Ask About Conversion Therapy
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
Ask a safe therapist whether they will try to change who your child is attracted to or how your child sees themselves, and they will say no, plainly and without a lecture. They tell you why: the research does not support it, and every major medical association opposes it. Then they tell you what they will work on instead, such as anxiety, depression, or conflict at home, and how you will stay part of the process. A safe answer never includes a success rate or a promise about who your child will become.
Quick Takeaways
Ask about the goal, not the label: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?"
A safe therapist says no in a sentence, then moves quickly to the real work.
A trustworthy professional keeps parents involved and respects your faith.
Pause at evasive replies, talk of a "root cause," or any promise of results.
Ask About the Goal, Not the Label
"Do you do conversion therapy?" is a fair question, but it invites a fair-sounding answer. A provider can honestly deny the label while pursuing the same goal, which is why "we don't do conversion therapy" tells you less than it seems.
Knowing what "conversion therapy" is helps you name the goal instead: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask, "What will you actually work on with my child?"
What a Safe Answer Sounds Like
A Plain No
Something like: "No. That isn't something I do with any child." Licensed therapists can and do decline these requests, because the practice runs against the ethics of their profession. A safe therapist does not get defensive.
A Reason Grounded in Evidence
They can explain that no in a sentence or two. In 2009, an American Psychological Association task force reviewed 83 studies and found insufficient evidence that change efforts work. Every major medical association has reached the same conclusion.
A Clear Picture of the Real Work
Good therapists name specific struggles: anxiety, depression, trouble sleeping, slipping grades, arguments at the dinner table. Their goal is a child who is doing better and a family that talks more, not a child who has become someone else.
A Place for You as the Parent
In 2014, three physicians wrote in the AMA Journal of Ethics about how a doctor should respond when Christian parents ask their pediatrician to back sending their 12-year-old son to a "conversion therapy" camp. Their guidance: speak privately with the boy to build trust, preserve a trusting relationship with his parents, and point the family toward supportive resources, including faith communities. Their model reply centers on the boy's "health and safety and his feeling supported by the important people in his life."
A safe therapist also explains what stays private and what you will always be told, especially about safety.
Respect for Your Faith
You should not have to choose between your convictions and your child's care. A good therapist asks how faith shapes your home and works with it. Many parents have found ways of loving God and loving their child at the same time.
Answers That Should Give You Pause
A long pause, a change of subject, or "it depends on what the family wants."
An offer to find the "root cause" or "wound" behind how your child sees themselves.
"It's not 'conversion therapy,' it's exploratory." Ask what is being explored, and toward what end.
Any success rate or guarantee. Anyone promising a clinical result here is selling something no one can deliver.
The stakes are real. A Family Acceptance Project study found high levels of depression rose from 16 percent among young adults who faced no change efforts to 33 percent when parents tried to change them, and to 52 percent when a therapist or religious leader was also involved. That is why "conversion therapy" is harmful: it turns the adults a child trusts most into sources of pressure.
You know your child better than any clinic. Check whether "conversion therapy" is legal where you live. A solution that divides your family is not a solution at all.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I ask a therapist about conversion therapy?
Ask about the goal: "Will you try to change who my child is attracted to or how they see themselves?" Then ask what they will actually work on.
What does a safe therapist say when asked about conversion therapy?
A clear no, a short reason grounded in research, a description of the real work, such as anxiety or family conflict, and how parents stay involved.
Can a therapist refuse to do conversion therapy?
Yes. Licensed therapists can and do decline, and every major medical association opposes the practice.
Is "exploratory therapy" different from conversion therapy?
Often it is the same goal under a gentler name. Ask what is being explored and whether the therapist has an outcome in mind for your child.
Will a safe therapist respect our Christian faith?
A good one will work with your faith. What they will not do is promise to change your child to fit an outcome decided in advance.
Sources and Further Reading
Professional Guidance
Research on Family Harm
CT4F Resources for Families